


(i didn't mean to) fall in love tonight

by zouisclimax



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bottom Harry, Fluff, Fluff galore, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Harry, Quite a bit of angst, Smut, Top Louis, so much fluff tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zouisclimax/pseuds/zouisclimax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry texts him back a thumbs up emoji before leaning forward and throwing up again. He groans, but stands after he’s done, wiping his mouth with toilet paper, and flushing the toilet. </p>
<p>He washes his mouth out as best as he can before steeling himself and heading back to class, trying his best not to cry. He tells himself that there is no point in worrying when he doesn’t even know if there is anything to worry about yet. </p>
<p>He still feels sick. </p>
<p>[or, the American boarding school AU where Harry's infatuated with Louis and one night flips his whole world upside-down]</p>
            </blockquote>





	(i didn't mean to) fall in love tonight

**Author's Note:**

> OKAYYYYY. Wow. Hi, my name is Rachel and I have no idea how to write something without it being a million words long. 
> 
> I know mpreg isn't everyone's thing, but I'm weak af for Louis and Harry with children and I just couldn't help myself. I had this small idea and this monster happened. 
> 
> Special thanks to Lizzie for reading, editing, and cheerleading. Your comments make my life, even tho they are sometimes rude as hell. 
> 
> title from 'Is There Somewhere' by Halsey. She is my fucking queen and I love her and I met her and she told me I had gorgeous eyes and now I really wanna marry her

It’s 7:02 in the morning and Harry Styles is wide awake. 

It’s unusual for Harry to wake before his alarm. He normally has a perfect sleep, sleeping right through the night, never waking to rearrange or to piss. 

So, he doesn’t understand why he’s been up since 6. It hasn’t been pleasant either. Harry has had this uneasy, queasy feeling deep in his belly since he then. He feels sick, like he could throw up any minute. 

He pushes back the covers and sits up, his shitty little twin bed squeaking underneath him. He’s been trying to go back to sleep since he woke and it’s obviously not working, so he might as well get up now. 

He’s quiet when he slides off the mattress, careful not to wake his roommate. He might kinda douche-y sometimes, but Harry isn’t. He grabs everything he needs for the bathroom and eases his way out of the room and down the hall. 

The bathroom’s empty when he gets there, which makes Harry slightly happy he woke up earlier. He knows it won’t last (there’s usually one other boy that joins Harry in the bathroom at 7:20), so he is going to enjoy it while he can. 

He frowns when he looks at himself in the mirror. He looks paler than usual and he can see a thin layer of sweat on his brow. He presses the back of his hand to his forehead and his stomach churns when he feels how warm he is. 

This is not the time. School’s only been in session for a month and Harry cannot afford to be sick. It’s his last year of high school and University (College as the Americans call it) is right around the corner. He has exams to study for and applications to fill out. 

He whines at himself in the mirror before spinning on his heels and starting towards the showers. Maybe if he takes one it’ll make him feel better. He can only hope. 

\--

The shower helps a bit. He feels less sweaty and his skin is a bit pinker, but he’s still nauseous. 

He needs to stick it out though, because he’s kind of a nerd and hasn’t missed a single day of class. He can’t. He’s on scholarship here at Hillcrest and he’s really pushing for valedictorian. He’s so close, neck and neck with this incredibly dickish lad in his AP European History course and he needs that perfect attendance. 

He leaves the bathroom in his towel as a few more boys enter, nodding his head slightly in hello, but not making any eye contact. It’s not that Harry’s painful awkward or anything, he just feels like shit and doesn’t feel like chatting. 

He’s also slightly awkward and doesn’t have many friends. His mum tells him it’s because people get overwhelmed by his brain and his smarts, but Harry thinks it’s his inability to tell a short story and loud, seal-like laugh. Also, his lack of coordination prevented him from playing sports. Instead, he found himself reading in the library, which is not the best place for a young boy to make friends. 

When he gets back to his room, his roommate is just getting up. He says good morning and Dylan mumbles something back before stumbling out of the room. Harry isn’t offended by that, Dylan’s like that most mornings. 

He tugs on his uniform, khaki pants, white button up, blue striped tie, and optional sweater (which Harry always wears because he loves sweaters (he also hates the suit jacket which is the other option)) and grabs his bag and books for the day. 

He’s supposed to meet Niall in the dining hall, but he feels too sick to be around food. He heads for his first class, Latin IV, instead. He thinks he could possibly sleep for a bit at his desk, maybe that will help to ease his upset tummy. 

\--

Latin is almost insufferable. They are translating the first 13 lines of Book 1 of the Gallic Wars and Harry wants to cry. He doesn’t care about Gaul or how it’s divided into three parts. He doesn’t care that the Galli are separated from the Aquitani by the river of Garonne and from Belgae by the Marne and the Seine. His head hurts and he wants to lie down. The boys in the corner are talking too loud and Niall’s eating pieces of bacon from his goddamn pocket and it’s disgusting. He wants to hurl. 

Calculus isn’t much better. Niall’s pocket must be a black hole because he’s somehow still eating bacon. Harry’s head isn’t getting any worse, but his stomach certainly is. He literally gags when he watches Niall take another bite. Niall writes him a confused note and Harry shrugs in response. He doesn’t get it either because he loves bacon, but right now the smell of it is making him want to be sick. 

“What’s wrong?” Niall asks when they head to the library for their third period study hall. 

“I don’t know, mate.” Harry whines. “It must be like the flu or something. Feel like I could vom any minute.” 

Niall steps away from him, almost slamming into the wall, and wrinkles his nose. “Ew, mate. Please keep your distance.” 

“Fuck off.” Harry whines. “My mum is a whole ocean away and you are my best mate, you have to take care of me.” 

“Nope, she can just catch a plane here. Fly her out.” 

“Fly her here? To Connecticut? With what money, Niall? I’m poor.” 

“I’ll help. I’ve money comin’ out me arse.” 

Harry snorts, because that certainly isn’t a lie. Niall’s family is loaded. He’s here on scholarship, too, but he certainly doesn’t need it for the money. He just got it because he’s a bloody genius. 

“Stop.” Harry pouts. “Be my friend and take care of me.” 

“Fine, fine. You’re a pain in the ass though, Styles.” 

“You love me.” Harry giggles. Niall rolls his eyes and yanks open the door to the library. 

“You wish. Now, stop talking and let’s get to studying. I’ve a test in Geography I forgot about.” 

\--

It doesn’t hit Harry what could be really wrong until sixth period. He’s sitting there, trying his best to pay attention to what Mr. Byrne is saying about Hamlet, but he can’t. He can’t focus and oh, god. Yep, he’s going to puke. 

He raises his hand and Mr. Byrne must see how pale he is because he tells him he is excused and Harry rushes out. 

He’s barely locked the stall door before he’s on his knees, emptying his stomach into the toilet bowl. It isn’t much, mostly just acid because he hasn’t eaten much of anything today. But, it just being acid is even worse than food. It’s the grossest, worst feeling in the world. Harry’s esophagus is on fire. 

It hits him that it might not be the flu when he realizes his fever is too slight to even be considered a fever and he doesn’t seem to be sweating. 

It hits him then. The uneasiness he awoke with. The nauseous, queasy feelings he has felt all day. The smells that keep setting him off. 

“Oh my god.” Harry mumbles, searching his pocket for his phone. According to the handbook, students aren’t supposed to have their phones on them throughout the day, but come on, asking a bunch of teenagers to part with their phones for 8 hours is absurd. No one, not even Harry, follows that rule. 

He sends off a text to Niall immediately asking him if they can run into town tonight, that he has something he needs to pick up as soon as possible. 

Niall texts him back a few question marks, followed by a ‘course, tho, H, i ran out of cheetos, i was going to ask ya 2 go anyway’. 

Harry texts him back a thumbs up emoji before leaning forward and throwing up again. He groans, but stands after he’s done, wiping his mouth with toilet paper, and flushing the toilet. 

He washes his mouth out as best as he can before steeling himself and heading back to class, trying his best not to cry. He tells himself that there is no point in worrying when he doesn’t even know if there is anything to worry about yet. 

He still feels sick. 

\--

“You okay, dude? Seem a bit freaked.” Dylan asks Harry a few hours later. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, tapping his foot and gnawing on his nail. He jumps at Dylan’s voice, accidentally biting down harshly on his finger tip. 

“Oh? Yeah, yeah. Fine. Just waiting for Niall. We have to run into town. He ran out of Cheetos. Which, is like a sin. Niall loves his Cheetos. He can’t-he can’t just not have them. It’s, that’s. No.” 

Dylan hardly spares Harry a weird glance. They’ve been roommates for four years, he’s gotten used to his odd rambles. Harry’s grateful.

“Cool.” Dylan laughs. “I’m going to hit the gym, can you pick me up a pack? I’ll leave you some cash.” 

“Yeah, yeah. No problem.” Harry nods. Dylan smiles sweetly and leaves a five on his dresser before waving goodbye, leaving Harry alone. With his thoughts. Oh, god. He’s going to throw up again. 

\--

Niall knocks on his door a few minutes later and Harry’s thankful, his nails really need a break. 

The drive into town only takes 15 minutes. Niall tries to get Harry to talk, to tell him what the hell they need to buy, but Harry doesn’t budge. Just sits there in the front seat of Niall’s Range Rover and tries not to cry, or worse, throw up. 

“Okay, now, are you going to tell me what you need?” Niall asks as he parks they car in the drug store parking lot. Harry ignores him, choosing to sprint out of the car and into the store instead. 

“Hey!” Niall shouts as he catches up with him in the store. “The fuck?” 

Harry doesn’t say anything again, just turns down another aisle, searching for what he needs. 

“Haz, what the hell? What do you need?” 

Harry huffs and turns down the next one. And oh. He stops dead in front of them. Niall runs into his back with a “omfph”. 

Harry ignores it, ignores him and focusing on the boxes in front of him instead. 

“Bloody hell.” Niall whines. “What the feck did you stop-”

He cuts himself off. Harry can feel his gaze shift from the boxes to him and back to the boxes again. He swallows and wrings his hands together. He feels like crying. 

“Pregnancy tests!?” Niall whisper screeches. “Harry! Harry, what the fuck!? You- I didn’t-Harry, you had sex?! You lost your virginity? What?! When?! Why didn’t you tell me!?” 

Harry wants to throw up. He wants to cry. He wants to die. He wants to melt into the bloody floor. 

“Harry, really? For real? You think you could be pregnant? Literally, when did this happen? Who with? Where-”

“Niall.” Harry whispers, his voice cracking. “Please. Please. I’ll tell you everything when we get back. After, after I take the bloody thing. But, right now. Right now, this is not the time.”

“Fuck, Haz, I-”

“Niall. Please. In the car. Right now, I just need to buy one of these and there are about five million different kinds and I don’t know which one to pick up and I have to buy Dylan some smokes and I-”

“Okay, okay, okay.” Niall cuts in, wrapping Harry up in a hug. “Can you breathe for me, Haz. Just breathe, okay?” 

Harry shakily nods into Niall’s shoulder. 

“It’s gonna be okay, lad. Really, I promise.” 

“Yeah, yeah. No point in worrying until I know, yeah? Been trying to tell myself that all day.” 

“You should’ve told me earlier.” Niall pouts when they pull away. 

“I texted you as soon as I realized what, like, this could be.” 

Niall nods and reaches forward, grabbing a box at random. “Good lad. And this one is fine, yeah? It says quick responses? I mean, they are all the same. Just piss on em and you get the answer. Plus, this one has 3, so we can be extra sure.” 

“Sounds good.” Harry laughs. Niall beams, probably happy he got that reaction out of Harry. 

Harry chooses the register with the old lady instead of the teenager, because he would rather have an old person’s judgement than having a rumor started. Not that he thinks he is relevant enough for a rumor, plus, it’s a girl and she probably doesn’t even know who Harry is, but he just likes to take extra precautions. 

He gets an extra judgmental glare from the lady when he asks for a pack of Marlboros, too. Niall snorts and Harry elbows him, smiling sweetly at the lady when she hands him his change. 

Niall’s on him as soon as they get into the car. 

“Feckin’ explain, mate.” 

“Can we wait until we get back?” Harry pleas. Niall shakes his head and tosses Harry a bottle of water. 

“Would you rather tell me here, where it’s just me and you, or in a dorm where anyone could over hear?” 

Fuck. He has a point. Harry grumbles and uncaps the water, taking a big gulp. 

“Okay…” Harry breathes. “I’ll talk.” 

“Who- well, who is possibly the dad?” 

Harry bites his lip. “You aren’t going to believe me.”

“Harry, I’m your best mate, I’ll believe you. Come on, just tell me.” 

“Louis Tomlinson.” 

Niall almost spits out his own water. “What?!” 

“See, you don’t believe me!” 

“No, I don’t not believe you, Haz. Jesus.” Niall mutters. “Just, what? I didn’t even think he knew your name!” 

“Me either.” Harry admits. “I don’t think he remembers it, though, for what it’s worth. Or me. Or it, that night. Anything about it really.” Which, sucks, honestly. That wasn’t the way Harry wanted his first time to be. Drunk, slightly high, and with a boy that probably doesn’t even remember the act, or him. 

Actually, it’s more than probably. Louis is, well Harry doesn’t want to use this cliché term, but popular. He’s captain of the soccer team, the funniest boy in their class, hands down, and a real people person. It’s like he’s a magnet. He just fucking draws people in. He’s bright and enigmatic. He’s the sun. Everyone loves him and he seems to love everyone right back, boy or girl. Harry’s heard quite a few scandalous, dirty rumors about him. All in all, he’s basically the exact opposite of Harry. 

“When did this happen?” Niall asks. “What night? When did this happen?”

“The week school started. At the party on that friday? To kick off the start of senior year? Remember?” 

“Course I remember, that was a fuckin’ great night. I made out with that one girl from Saint Mary’s and then finally got into Jade’s pants.” 

“Classy.” Harry laughs. 

“I never said I was a role model.” Niall shrugs, giving him a blinding grin. “Tell me what went down. Everything.” 

“Okay, so-”

\-- 

The party is in full swing by the time Niall and Harry show up. It’s at this kid’s, Jensen’s, lake house a few miles from Hillcrest and it seems like their entire school, plus the all girls preparatory, Saint Mary’s, is in attendance. 

Two years ago, a party like this would’ve made Harry extremely nervous, but being friends with Niall for so long, he’s gotten used to being dragged from party to party and his confidence has even grown from it. He can talk to people without stuttering, which is kind of amazing in Harry’s book. He still has yet to control the rambling, but he’s working on it. 

Niall pushes through the crowd, yanking Harry the entire way until they reach their small group of close friends. 

“Babes.” Zayn nods, smoking streaming from his nose. He looks like a dragon and he snorts when Harry tells him so. 

“Good first week?” He asks, sliding his free arm around Harry’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, didn’t see you much, though.” Zayn’s just as smart, if not smarter than Harry, but the only subjects he tries in are Literature and whatever art course(s) he is taking this year. So, Harry only gets to see him once a day, they don’t even have study hall together this year. 

“Miss me, sweetcheeks?” Zayn coos, pinching at his cheeks.

“Obviously.” Harry laughs, shoving him away. 

“Harry!” Harry spins towards the screech, beaming when Perrie throws herself on him, squeezing him so tight he and barely breathe. 

“Perrie!” He chokes out, squeezing her back. 

“Pez, let go, he’s feckin’ turin’ blue.” Niall cackles from over his shoulder. Perrie mumbles something into his shoulder and then pulls away, pecking at his cheek. 

“How are you, love?” She asks, subtly pushing him away so she can slide under Zayn’s arm instead. Harry rolls his eyes, she’s so bloody territorial. They aren’t even officially dating. Or, well, they might be. Harry really doesn’t understand Zayn and Perrie. They are so hot and cold. One day they are in love, the next day Perrie’s texting him and calling Zayn a “moody, broody asshat that’s not even that good looking”. And they all know she’s lying. Zayn’s a work of art. 

“Good, yeah. You?” 

“Can we not small talk?” Niall whines, cutting Perrie off from her answer. “I wanna get smashed and fuck Jade later.” 

“She’s not going to fuck you.” Perrie sighs. “She finds you very loud. It annoys her.” 

“Loud? Feckin’ loud?! She thinks I’m loud! Me!?” 

“No idea where she got that.” Zayn deadpans. Niall punches at his shoulder. 

“Whatever. Come on, pals, let’s go do some shots!” 

\--

Some shots turns into a lot of shots. But, it’s Niall, so Harry really isn’t surprised. He’s drunk within the hour, can barely stand, so Harry decides to head down by the lake’s edge and get some fresh air. 

He heads down by himself. Niall fucked off with some blonde girl Harry didn’t catch the name of about 20 minutes ago and he has no idea where Zayn and Perrie are. He guesses off in Perrie’s car, but he doesn’t want to confirm his suspicions and look in on something not meant for his eyes. 

No one else is by the water and Harry’s glad to be by himself for once tonight. He loves his friends, absolutely loves Niall to death, but Jade’s right. Niall is loud and it’s overwhelming at times. He just needs a few minutes to himself sometimes. 

He takes a sip of the water he brought with him as he plops down on Jensen’s little dock thingy. His family is smart. The boat’s locked up, keys hidden, making it impossible for drunk teenagers to go for a joyride. Very, very smart of them.

He caps the bottle and lays back. It’s a clear night and Harry can stars for miles. He spends a few moments looking for constellations, but gives up and closes his eyes after he finds the Big Dipper. 

“You sleeping, mate?” 

Harry jumps, sitting up immediately and nearly braining himself on the voice’s head. The voice laughs loudly and it seems to step back. Harry spins to face it, mouth dropping when he sees the person the voice belongs to. 

“Sorry, darling, did I scare you?” 

Harry tries his best to get an answer out, but his brain seems to be having a difficult time communicating with the nerves that stimulate his vocal cords. 

“Wow, I scared the voice right out of you, didn’t I?” 

Harry nods, because he doesn’t want to appear stupider than he already does. But, he just. He can’t help it. It’s Louis bloody Tomlinson. The most attractive boy in his grade. Well, some people say Zayn is, and Harry sees their point, he really does, but he doesn’t think Zayn and Louis should be compared. Zayn’s an elegant sort of pretty. Like, he’s unnaturally pretty. Like he said earlier, he’s a work of art. 

Louis’ a different sort of pretty. He’s unbelievably pretty like Zayn is, but he’s a manly sort of pretty. He’s a chiseled beauty. He’s ruggedly handsome, yet cute as a button. Harry doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t really want to try. Louis shouldn’t be questioned, just allowed to live and be gorgeous in peace. 

Harry’s also envious of his light, fluffy beard. He kind of wants to feel the scruff between his thighs. It’s whatever. Just… just kind of okay? Only a little. 

“I uh, yeah.” Harry finally stutters out. He can’t help it though. The moonlight and water are reflecting in Louis’ already blueblueblue eyes and he wants to fucking cry. 

Louis laughs and comes closer to Harry and the next thing he knows he’s plopping down besides him. 

“Whatcha doing down here...?” He asks, kicking his legs out to hang off the peer. Harry gets the urge to clutch at his heart when he sees how short his little legs are. He sees his life flash before his eyes when he starts kicking them back and forth. 

“Harry.” Harry provides. He tries to his best to push down the feeling of disappointment that Louis doesn’t know his name. They go to a decent sized school, there are about 150 boys in their class, but they worked together on a project in Honors Biology freshman year. Harry’s sad he doesn’t remember. 

“Harry?” 

“Styles.” 

Louis grins. “That’s a pretty popstar-y name, Mr. Styles.” 

Harry can’t help but giggle and grin back. His smile is infectious. 

“So, again, what are you doing down here all by yourself, Harold?” 

“It’s just Harry.” Harry corrects automatically. He gets called Harold way too often for his liking. “But, just needed a break. I’m pretty drunk, I just wanted some air.” 

“Well, I’m pretty drunk, too, Just Harry.” 

Harry giggles again and Louis positively lights up, like he’s proud he made that sound come from him. Harry’s chest hurts. 

“Why’d you come down here, Louis?” 

“Hey, you know my name?” Louis asks, tilting his head to the side. Harry feels himself flush slightly. 

“I uh, I mean, yeah? Of course I do. We go to the same school. We are in the same class.” 

“Oh.” Louis nods. “Yeah, makes sense. Makes me feel like shit, though. You know, for not knowing yours.” 

Harry shakes his head quickly. Louis’ too pretty to ever feel like shit. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just really good with names. I know everyone’s name in our grade.” 

“Really?” Louis asks. 

“Uh huh.” 

“Well, Curly, if you insist. But, to answer your question, I came down here to smoke this.” He pulls out a joint from his pocket and holds it up. “Wanted it all to myself, so I broke away from the group. I wouldn’t mind sharing with you, though. Wanna?” 

“I uh-”

“Never tried?” Louis asks, plopping it in his mouth and fishing around in his pocket for his lighter. 

“I’ve tried.” Harry says. “I’m friends with Zayn after all.” It was hilarious, the first time he smoked weed. They, him, Zayn, and Niall, were in the woods behind the school and Niall got so high he tried to befriend a squirrel and then climbed a tree and refused to come down for 20 minutes because “I’ve found my purpose in life, gents. I am a tree. This tree is me. I must stay.” Harry has a great video of him falling from “himself” ten minutes later.

“Ah, yes. Malik. Good lad.” Louis laughs. “Of course you have.” 

“So you want a hit?” Louis asks, lighting up and taking a hit himself.

Harry finds himself nodding along, watching the movement of Louis’ lips closely. “I uh, haven’t a lot, though. So, don’t make fun of me if I like cough or something.” 

Louis blows out a stream of smoke and let’s out a delighted laugh, beckoning Harry closer. “I won’t. Promise. We can do something else though, if you want, make it easier for you.”

“Easier?” 

“Ever shotgunned with Malik?” 

Harry shakes his head. He’s not an idiot. He’s not sheltered, he’s friends with Zayn and Niall after all. He knows what shotgunning is and feels his stomach flip. Louis. Louis fucking Tomlinson is offering to shotgun with him. To put his mouth only millimeters from his. 

Harry might pass out.

“Good, I’d love to be your first.” 

Oh, god. Harry wants him to be so many firsts. 

Louis grins when Harry slides closer and closer. Louis’ eyes are on him the whole time, watching Harry’s face as he brings the joint to his lips and takes a long, slow hit. 

He lowers it from his mouth and uses the other one to reach out and grip at the back of Harry’s neck, pulling him in and closer to him. 

Harry hears his own breath catch. He feels his blood pounding, can hear it rushing in his ears. He tries his best to steady himself, to stop his hand from shaking. 

Louis’ brushes his lips lightly against his and Harry parts his in response. Louis opens his own mouth and blows. 

The smoke swirls around them and Harry inhales slowly. It’s strong and Harry closes his eyes to prevent them from watering. He feels fuzzy already and he knows that there is no way it’s the pot. It’s Louis and having him this close. It’s fucking Harry up. 

“Yeah?” Louis asks. 

Harry doesn’t know what he is asking about for sure, but he think he has an idea and of course the answer is yes. He wants to feel Louis’ lips on his for real, wants to taste him, feel the texture of the inside of his mouth. 

Louis pulls back and Harry opens his eyes, whining at the loss of Louis’ body heat. 

Louis laughs and puts the joint out after taking one more drag. “Hold on, hold on.” He says. He heaves himself to his feet and sticks out his hand. Harry takes it and lets him pull him up, too. 

“Where are we going?” Harry asks as Louis yanks him down the dock. 

Louis spins and pulls him in, kissing him hard enough to take his breath away. Louis pulls back and rests his forehead against Harry’s. 

“Somewhere more private. Wanna get you alone.” 

Harry feels like his whole body starts afire. “Yeah.” Harry whispers. “Yes, yes. Please.” 

Louis laughs and kisses him quick. “Come on, then, Curly.” 

\--

Five minutes later, Harry finds himself in Louis’ lap in the front seat of his Range Rover. 

The car is hot, unbelievably hot and he must whisper that against Louis’ lips because next thing he knows Louis’ pulling at his flannel and tearing his undershirt off. He’s quick to take his own off afterwards and now Harry’s head is really spinning. He’s hot and they are both sweaty. He’s lightheaded and the feeling off Louis’ bare chest against his isn’t helping ground him at all. 

“You’re so hot, Curly, Jesus. How have I never noticed you before?”

Harry shakes his head and bends down to mouth at Louis’ neck. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t because he’s done a lot of noticing. In the last 4 years, Harry has noticed Louis an arseload. Way more than what is considered “normal”. 

“Fuck.” Louis groans, bucking his hips up. Harry moans, mouth dragging along Louis’ hot skin. 

Harry feels Louis’ hand slide from it’s spot gripping at his hip to the button of his jeans. It only takes Louis a second to get them open and the next second his hand is plunging in. 

“Fuck, Curly.” Louis laughs. Harry smirks. 

“Yeah, um. Decided against pants today.” 

“Just met and you’ve already tried to kill me.” Louis laughs.

And well. Harry doesn't want to sound like, a girl, or something, even though that’s dumb, boys can have feelings, too. It’s human to have feelings, it’s not like, gender specific. Anyway, the point is, he’s a sensitive lad and he’d be lying if he wasn’t crushed by that. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to push Louis away right then and tell him to fuck off, they didn’t just met. They met freshman year. In Honors Biology. Where they sat only four desks away. 

He decides against it when Louis grips at him and strokes him hard. He’s mind goes blank and he can’t remember why he was hurt in the first place. 

Louis pulls his hand away a moment later and tugs on the waist of Harry’s jeans. 

“Get these off.”

“Yours, too.” 

The car is nice and spacious, but it’s not that spacious. It’s a pain in the ass and very awkward to maneuver, but Harry doesn’t care because he wants to touch Louis. He wants to see him naked. And to actually be able to look at him, not just carefully sneak a glance like in the locker room before gym class sophomore year.

Louis kicks his jeans to the floor and Harry shoves his down, too. And then, Harry gets his wish. Well, not his full wish, seeing as Louis’ still in his pants. 

Fuck, his tiny, tiny black pants. Harry can see him straining in them and his mouth waters. He wants to get on his knees for Louis, get his mouth on him and suck him dry, but it’s been awhile since he’s last done that, almost two years actually, and he wants to be nothing but good for him. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Louis because what if he lost all ability to suck dick and it’s awful. 

So he decides against it, just presses his heel to Louis and kisses him hard, enjoying the noises he makes against his lips. 

“Fuck, Harry, H-Harry.” Louis whines, hands gripping at Harry’s bare ass. He squeezes harshly and Harry lets out a deep moan. Louis bites at his lip. 

“Yeah?” He asks, spreading Harry’s cheeks and running a dry finger over his hole. “Wanna.” Louis breathes. “Want you so bad.” 

And Harry doesn’t think twice about it, he just nods. Really, he can’t think at all right now. He isn’t thinking about how he really wanted his first time to be, in a bed, for starters, with a boy he loved and maybe something stupid, like rose petals and champagne (he’s a romantic, okay?). 

All he feels is a want and a burning desire to be close to Louis. To feel him everywhere. To just touch. Harry’s cock is so hard and he wants to come so badly. He just wants Louis so fucking badly. 

So he nods. And nods. And nods. Louis smiles against his lips and squeezes at his ass again. He lets go reaches to the center console, searching through it till he finds what he wants, a packet of lube and a condom. 

“Back?” Louis asks. Harry shakes his head because in the back of his mind, he remembers reading some article somewhere about girls and their first time and how if they are on top for it, it can lessen the pain or something. Harry doesn’t know if that applies to him, but he might as well just stay where he is. Harry’s a tall lad and the backseat looks quite small. He’s rather not be folded up and crammed back there. 

“Well, okay, Mr. Styles.” Louis laughs, bringing the foil packet up to his teeth and tearing it open. “You’re a little minx.” 

Harry giggles because that sounds absurd is the thing. Harry’s so not a minx. He’s a careful, thoughtful man. He doesn’t just do things on a whim, but he can’t find it in him to say no. He can’t think right now. He just fucking wants. 

So, he guesses he is kind of a minx. 

Harry watches closes as Louis squeezes the lube onto his fingers. Louis grins up at him when his fingers are fully coated, leaning forward to knock his head into his chest. 

He laughs breathlessly when Louis drags his scruff chin across his collarbones, the two birds tattooed right there. He doesn’t even notice Louis’ hand left until he feels a wet finger prod at his hole. 

He gasps, nails digging into Louis’ shoulder. Louis sinks his teeth until Harry’s skin in response, all the while pushing the finger in further. 

It hurts, but Harry sort of remembers the initial pain of the first finger. He’s done this before, let this happen before. But, again, it’s been two years and Harry had only let Jackson add two fingers before he stopped him, crying out and telling him that it just didn’t feel right, that he couldn’t do this with him. 

Jackson had been pissed, but Harry didn’t care. He couldn’t let himself do something that felt wrong. He told Jackson that if he was that concerned about sex he could fuck off. He did. He broke up with Harry right then and there. That was the last time Harry spoke to him. He graduated 2 weeks later, so it’s was fine. Harry is fine. Honestly, way over that asshole. He isn’t even worth Harry sparing him a thought. 

Harry tries his best to ignore the second ache of pain he gets when Louis’ adds his second finger. He yanks on Louis’ hair, dragging him out of his chest and forcing their mouths together. 

He focuses on the movement of Louis’ tongue and the way the inside of his mouth feels, instead of the scissoring of his fingers. He bites at Louis’ lip and memorizes the moans he makes, the words he whispers about Harry, how hot, tight, and smooth he feels. 

Harry has to pull away when Louis adds a third finger. He takes a big, gasping breath and tries to center himself. He tries to remember his breathing exercises from yoga. 

“You okay, darling?” Louis asks, spreading his fingers. Harry feels his mouth fall open and he feels like he’s about to cry out, but a moan comes out instead. 

Louis eyes are shining unrealistically bright and Harry feels like he has been punched in the gut. 

He nods and forces a breath in through his nose and out a moment later. Louis laughs and leans up, kissing him soundly. 

“Ready, babe?” 

Part of Harry, a small, small part, probably the logical side of his brain (the left side, Harry, come on), is telling him to say no. No to what? He isn’t really sure. It could be that, no he isn’t ready. Or it could be no, because this crazy, I’m not a minx, I should stop.

Harry doesn’t focus on that part though because it’s small, barely a whisper. The rest of Harry’s brain is screaming yes. His heart is pounding the word yes. His body is speaking the word yes. Pushing itself closer to Louis and nodding rapidly. 

“Yeah?” Louis laughs. 

“Yeah.” Harry finally speaks, finally uses his fucking words. He can’t think. He just feels. He just wants. 

And Harry fucking wants Louis’ cock. And he’s so close, he’s not going to stop now.

So, he concentrates extra hard and silences that whisper. He watches as Louis rolls the condom on and can’t stop himself from reaching down to help. Louis moans and Harry feels giddy that it was him that made that noise come from his mouth. 

Louis squeezes what’s left of the packet of lube on his dick and pumps it a few times, spreading it. Harry’s so enthralled watching it all that he doesn’t even register Louis tapping at the back of his knees. 

“Come on love, up a bit, yeah? Scooch forward.” 

Harry moves forward immediately, pressing his chest against Louis’. And fuck, his cock drags wetly against Louis’ tummy and he really, really might pass out. He feels drunk in a whole different way. Drunk of the feeling of Louis’ warm skin against his. Drunk of the way he can feel the rise and fall of Louis’ chest. Drunk of the fact that he bets if he was quiet enough he could hear the beat of Louis’ heart. 

“So good.” Louis whispers when he starts to line himself up. “Can’t wait to get inside you, love. Gonna feel so good.” 

Harry whines at that because damn, Louis is so good with words. He says them so fucking well. He should get like, an award or something. 

Harry gasps when he feels the head of Louis’ cock, has to bite the meat of Louis’ shoulder when he pushes in. He feels tears prickle in his eyes as Louis goes further and further. There’s one that’s falling down his cheek when Louis’ bottoms out. 

He doesn’t want Louis to see it so he wipes it with the back of his hand before sitting back, acting like he is tossing his hair over his shoulder. 

Louis laughs tightly at that and helps Harry toss the other side. Harry whines we Louis does those because his leaning forward into Harry moves his cock and fuck it feels good. 

“Fuck. You’re fucking sensitive, aren’t you?” 

Well, Harry guesses. He nods and Louis tugs him down by the neck, kissing him all sorts of dirty on the mouth. 

“I love that.” 

Harry smiles and then all he can think about is making Louis love him. Love every inch of him. He wants to make him feel good. He wants to make him come. Fuck, Harry wants to come.  
So, he swivels his hips, grinding down nice and slow. This time it’s Louis who gasps, letting go of his neck and gripping at his hips. 

“Oh fuck, yeah. That’s it, darling. Come on.” 

It spirals from there. It’s hot, fast, and dirty. Harry grinding down, Louis thrusting and fucking up. 

Harry barely feels any pain anymore. He just feels pleasure. With him on top, Louis keeps hitting his prostate dead on and it’s like every nerve ending is on fire. He feels electric. He’s cock is so hard it hurts. 

He reaches down to wrap a hand around himself, give himself some release, but Louis smacks his hand away, places his own around his cock instead. 

“So wet for me, babe.” Louis moans, thrusting up hard. Harry whines and scratches at Louis’ chest. 

“Feels so tight. So tight. So tight.” Louis chants. “You always this tight? God, you are going to kill me.”

Harry absently thinks ‘yes, yes he is always this tight because it’s my first time’, but he doesn’t dare say it out loud. Just swivels his hips again and clenches around Louis. 

Louis loses it then, fucks up quickly three more times before coming, long and hard. Harry can feel bruises starting to form beneath Louis’ fingertips on his hips. 

What does it for Harry is feeling Louis’ cock twitch after he’s nearly spent and how Louis’ weakly moves his hand on Harry’s cock, twisting and digging his nail into the slit. He spills all over both of their stomachs. 

“Fuck.” Harry pants. 

Louis giggles (Harry’s heart totally doesn’t melt) and reaches into the console again, pulling out tissues. He wipes himself clean and then Harry right after. He taps at Harry’s hips and Harry bites at his lip as he shifts up and then back. He winces in discomfort as Louis’ cock slides out and Louis hisses, probably at the over sensitivity. 

He watches as Louis wraps the condom up in a tissue and then shoves all the tissues into a Taco Bell sack he finds on the floor of the drivers seat. 

“Well.” Louis smiles. “That was fun.” 

Harry nods. 

“Wanna uh… get off me now, mate? We should probably get dressed.” 

And oh. Right. Yeah. Harry’s in his car. Louis’ Range Rover. Harry just lost his bloody virginity in the front seat of a fucking Range Rover. 

It’s awkward then. Louis pulling up his pants that Harry doesn’t even recall him pulling down silently, not meeting Harry’s eyes. 

Harry coughs and then decides “fuck it” because there is no way he can pull on his skinny jeans in here, so he opens the door and climbs out, getting dressed alongside the car. 

Louis hands him his shirts as he pulls on his own and then they are both fully dressed, just staring at each other. And. Well, Harry doesn’t know what to say. He’s awkward. He rambles. He isn’t good with words like Louis. 

He’s saved though, by a drunk Niall yelling “HAROLD!” from somewhere in the distance. 

“Um… that’s um, my friend. I should, go. So.” God, he’s so awkward. God, this is awful. Oh my god. 

“Oh, yeah. Right, right.” Louis nods, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting up. “See you ‘round?”

“Yeah.” Harry whispers. He needs to leave. He needs to go. “Um, bye.” 

“Later, Curly.” Louis whispers. Harry nods awkwardly and spins on his heels, walking away as quickly as his long, knobby legs can carry him. 

“HEY!” Niall shouts when he sees him. “There are you! Where the fuck were you?! We was lookin’ everywhere mate.”

“Were.” Harry corrects automatically. “Just um, needed air.” 

“Lame.” Niall mumbles. “Missed beer pong. Whatever, Perrie’s going to drive us to get Taco Bell. I want Taco Bell. Come on, come on. TACOS!” 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” Harry focuses on trying to keep Niall upright as he drags him towards Perrie’s car. He tries his best to not think about what he just did. Because holy shit. What did he just do. 

\-- 

“In the front seat? Of his Range? Harry.” Niall tsks. 

“I was too long for the back! I’ve slept in the back of yours, I knew it would be uncomfortable if we went back there.” 

Niall lets himself cackle at that for a minute before turning to look at Harry gently. 

“I thought-I thought you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved.”

Harry knows his smile is sort of self-deprecating. “It was, yeah? Kinda?” Because it’s true. He’s been in love with Louis since the first time he saw him in Bio. The very first time. His hair was straighten and swooping to the side. His backpack was navy blue-striped and he had the biggest smile Harry had ever seen. He was beautiful. It was love at first sight.

“Haz.” Niall frowns.

Because yeah. It’s not the same. Harry might sort of love Louis, but Louis didn’t even know Harry’s fucking name. It wasn’t love to him. It was lust and a quick, dirty fuck. 

“It just happened.” 

“Do you regret it?” Niall asks. 

“Well, I-it was good. The act itself. I don’t regret it, at least, I didn’t. I wish it happened differently, you know, not in a car for one. But, now. I don’t know. I think I’ll regret it if this turns out positive.” 

Harry feels his voice crack. Holy shit, if this turns out positive. Pregnant. Harry could be pregnant. 

“Niall.” He croaks out. “I could be pregnant.”

“I know, H. I know.” 

Harry opens the door and vomits onto the concrete below. 

\--

“It smells like pee in here.” 

“Niall!” Harry whines. 

“What?” Niall laughs, pushing Harry back and shoving his way further into the bathroom. They are in the staff bathroom in the kitchen. It’s private and singular and the only reason they were allowed to use it at this time of day, and at all really, is because Niall is best friends with the head chef. Seriously. They like hang out. Harry doesn’t understand it. 

“You couldn’t have like, put the caps back on those?” Niall asks, nodding towards the three pregnancy tests sitting in the sink.

“I’ll kill you.” 

Niall does nothing but laugh and Harry groans, leaning back against the way and putting his head in his hands. 

“Oh, come on, Harry.” Niall tries, pushing at Harry’s cheeks to try to get him to lift his lips in a smile. Harry doesn’t let it work, just slaps his hands away and pouts harder. 

“Haz.” Niall sighs. “Come on, mate, let’s not worry yet. Okay? We don’t know anything yet, so let’s not worry. We have-” He pauses to glance down at Harry’s phone where the timer is ticking. “46 more seconds until we know if we can worry and stress and freak and panic yet. So, like, chill.”

Harry sighs, but he guesses Niall is right. He doesn’t know if he has to worry yet. But, he is worrying about whether or not he has to worry and that makes him worry even more and fuck, Harry’s confused. He just. 

“I’m scared.” Harry whispers. 

“I know.” Niall says softly, wrapping his arms around Harry and pulling him in for a tight hug. Harry lets himself relax into it, but startles right back into worrying a second later when his phone starts going off.

He squeezes Niall tighter because he doesn’t want to let go. Letting go means he will have to look and see if he is. 

And this is- this is not how Harry pictured himself taking pregnancy tests. He pictured himself excited and almost unable to wait for the results. He’d be with his husband, jittery and on edge. 

He didn’t think he would be scared. He didn’t think he’d be with Niall in his school bathroom. He didn’t think he would want to never look at the tests. 

Niall takes the phone from him and hits the ‘OK’. 

“Haz-”

“I don’t want to look.” Harry says, cutting him off. 

“Mate.” Niall rubs his hand down Harry’s back. “You need to.”

“I know.” Harry huffs. He takes a deep breath and tries his best to steel himself. He won’t cry. There is no reason to. Yet. 

He pulls back from Niall and grabs his dick, you know, for good measure or luck or something of the sort. Niall cackles and Harry feels himself smile as he heads over to the sink. 

The tests are turned over, so he doesn’t see the results right away. He cracks his knuckles before picking one up and turning it over. He feels his lungs crumple and deflate as he reads it. He sets it down and immediately turns over the next two. 

“Haz?” Niall asks. 

Harry’s going to be sick. 

“Haz, come on, you’re scaring me.” 

Harry wants to laugh right now because this cannot be true. This cannot be his life. He gathers up all three tests and turns to face Niall. He feels himself shaking as he holds them out. 

“Can I worry now, Ni? Can I bloody fucking panic now?” 

Niall visibly pales, hands going up to grab his hair. “Oh, fuck.”

\--

Harry’s exhausted. He just spent the last 30 minutes sobbing into Niall’s chest and now all he wants to do is sleep. He’s fucking exhausted, his head is killing him, and worst of fucking all, he’s pregnant. 

Oh, god. He’s pregnant. He’s actually pregnant. Harry’s going to be like one of those kids on that tv show. He’s going to be a teen fucking parent. 

“I’m pregnant.” Harry cries. 

Niall shushs him, pulling him closer in as they shuffle quietly through the kitchen and into the dining hall. Luckily, no one is in there. Or, maybe it isn’t luckily. It’s 11:15 and the dining hall closes at 9, so. It makes sense no one is in there. 

“Quiet, Haz. We don’t need anyone hearing you.” 

“I’m pregnant and the other dad doesn’t even remember fucking me probably. He doesn’t know my name. Niall, what am I going to do? Oh, god what am I going to do?” 

“Harry. Seriously, I need you to be quiet.” They’ve reached the stairs to the dorms now. “We don’t need anyone overhearing this. Shut the fuck up.” 

Harry nods and snuggles closer to Niall as they climb up to Niall’s floor. Niall nods hello to a few boys they pass along the way, but Harry keeps his head down. He doesn’t need anyone to see he’s been crying. 

Niall pushes open his door and tugs Harry into the room. It’s too bright, so he doesn’t bother looking up either. 

“Sup, Dax.” Niall greets. He drops Harry down on the bed. Harry immediately reaches down to kick off his beloved, scuffed up brown boots. 

“Sup, Irish. Harry.” Daxton replies. 

Harry mumbles a hello back. 

“What’s wrong with him?” He asks Niall. Niall sighs and pulls off his shirt. 

“Harry’s having some family issues right now and he’s pretty upset, so I told him he could kip with us. That okay?” 

Daxton nods. “Fine by me.”

Harry looks up this time and thanks him because he’s a polite person and it was nice of Daxton to say it was okay for him to stay. Most of the time he’s kind of dickish to Harry. But, maybe it isn’t his fault. Anyone named Daxton is probably doomed to be a dick.

“Damn, dude. You look rough. You should get some sleep. I’ll promise to be quiet when I wake up.”

And oh. Harry forgot that Daxton was on the soccer team. Which Louis is the captain of. Fuck. Louis. Fuck. Harry’s pregnant. With Louis’ baby. Oh god, he’s going to cry again. 

“Thank you.” Harry whispers. Dax stands to pull of his shirt and Harry is suddenly really glad he changed into a comfy t shirt and sweats before going into town with Niall. He’s absolutely positive no one could tell he was pregnant if he took off his shirt, but he definitely feels like they could. 

He curls his arms around his stomach and stands when Niall tells him to. Niall pulls back the covers and shoves Harry in before joining next to him. 

“Really, dudes? Gonna share? Isn’t it more comfortable if one of you takes the futon?” Dax asks. 

Niall shrugs. “Harry’s a feckin’ mad cuddler. He’s upset, so I figured I’d let him have some of these Irish cuddles. They’re the best kind.” 

Dax snorts and turns off the light. “All right, night.”

“Night.” They call back. Harry curls up next to Niall and Niall pets his hair. 

“It’s going to be all right, Haz. I promise.” 

Harry doesn’t know if he believes him, but he’s too tired to think about it anymore. He just nods against Niall’s chest and goes to sleep.

\--

When Harry wakes up, everything is fine. He forgets about the bloody thing growing inside him for all of 3 minutes before the overwhelming urge to vomit loving reminds him. 

He extracts himself from Niall, forcefully might he add (and Zayn calls him an octopus), and runs to the bathroom. 

There is another boy in there, but Harry doesn’t bother to look at his face, or worrying about the fact someone is going to hear him get sick, because he’s about to get sick and if he doesn’t get to the toilet in three seconds, he’ll vomit all over himself. 

He makes it just in the knick of time, sputtering and coughing the contents of his stomach into the bowl. 

“Um…” A voice outside the stall door calls. “Like… are you okay, mate?” 

Fuck. 

Harry rests his head against the porcelain for a minute before standing up from the floor. He doesn’t even want to think about how dirty that floor is. He opens the door and almosts get sick all over again when he sees who it is. 

Liam Payne. Only Louis’ best friend in the entire fucking school, universe, too, probably. The world fucking hates Harry. 

He feels his face flush and he nods dumbly. 

“Yeah, just. Yeah, feeling a little poorly. Probably just a little bug.” 

“You want me to get the nurse? A friend?” Liam asks. His face is all genuine and he looks like a bloody puppy. Harry has this sudden overwhelming urge to sob. 

“No.” He says instead. “Fine. I swear. I, I-I’m going to go back to my room now. Get my toothbrush.” 

Liam cracks a smile at that. “Probably should. Bet your mouth tastes awful.” He giggles and Harry wants to hug him. That would be weird though, so he just awkwardly smiles and shuffles out of the bathroom. 

Niall’s just waking when he gets back, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He wrinkles his nose when he sees Harry. 

“Why do you look like you’ve just seen a fuckin’ ghost?” 

“Because Liam Payne just heard me throw up.” 

“Ew.” Niall reacts automatically. “Oh shit, Liam!? Was Louis with him? Why wasn’t he in the locker room showers?” 

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know. But, no. Thankfully, he wasn’t. Unless he was in another stall or something. Fuck, no. I don’t want to think about that, Niall. Don’t make me think about that. I feel like I could cry any minute, so please, don’t say shit that could make me cry!” 

“Okay, okay. I won’t. Jeez.” Niall climbs out of bed, sliding his pants off when he stands. Harry pretends to be blinded and Niall throws them at his head. 

“Ew. Niall.” Harry laughs. 

“What? I’m making you laugh instead of cry.” 

Harry wants to coo. Bless Niall’s little heart. He keeps making Harry laugh as he gets dressed, even giving Harry a little helicopter show, dragging him out of his room when he’s done, down the hall to Harry’s. 

Dylan’s gone when they get there, so Harry uses the opportunity to change in his room. It’s not that he’s like weirded out to get naked in front of Dylan, really he doesn’t care at all, he loves being naked. He’s very comfortable with his body. It’s Dylan who’s bothered by it, Harry doesn’t understand, but he respects him enough to just change in the bathroom if Dylan is in the room. 

He doesn’t feel very comfortable today, forcing himself to turn away from Niall as he changes. He knows it’s silly because there is no way he is more than 5 weeks, but. He’s just self conscious. He hasn’t had time to inspect his own body yet, so he doesn’t want anyone else to see it either, Niall included.

“Hey, Haz?” Niall asks as he is slipping on his boots.

“Hm?” 

“What are you going to do?” 

Harry stops at the question. Because, well. It’s a really good one. He has no idea what he is going to do. Does he terminate? No, Harry could never, he loves babies too much. Does he keep it, raise it on his own? Give it up for adoption? Fuck, Harry would hate giving up his kid. But, fuck. Harry wants to be a urologist (and no, not because he fucking loves dicks, stop with the fucking gay jokes, Niall. It’s because kidneys are fucking cool). He wants to go to Yale and then to med school. You can’t go to bloody med school and raise a fucking baby. That’s impossible! 

“I-” Harry croaks out. Oh god, now he really might cry. 

“Fuck, Haz, oh my god, I didn’t mean to make you cry, no, please don’t cry. Come on, let’s laugh, yeah?” 

Harry feels this close to hyperventilating. Holy shit. Does he tell Louis? Louis should know. The kid is his. Oh, god. What if Louis doesn’t care? What if Louis tells him to get lost? 

Oh my god, what if Harry is a single parent!? What if his mum kicks him out? Disowns him!? What if Gemma never talks to him again? Oh, what will his Dad think? Not only is his only son gay, but he’s fucking pregnant at 17?! 

Harry must really be in his head because Niall has to shake him to get him to come back to reality. 

“Hey, Haz! Calm down! Breathe!”

Harry does as he is told, takes deep breaths and grips Niall’s hands. He can’t do this. He doesn’t want to think about it right now.

“Can we not talk about it for a while? Just. I don’t want to think about it. Let’s just go eat. Let’s just go to class. I don’t want to think about.” 

Niall chews on his lip, but eventually shrugs in agreement. “We have to talk about it soon, though.” 

“I know. Not today, though.”

“Not today.” Niall agrees. 

It’s not much and nothing is solved, but somehow, Harry feels a bit better.

\--

It’s easy for Harry to pretend everything is fine and that there isn’t a life forming inside of him.

He throws himself into his school work, writing papers with everything he has and studying until ungodly hours. 

It gives him something to focus on, something to think about all the time. It’s the best kind of distraction. It works well because he doesn’t focus on the thing (the parasite as Niall has taken to call it, “Mate, babies fucking feed off you, stealing your nutrients and shit, if that isn’t a parasite I don’t know what is!”) and he gets exceptional grades (which is nothing out of the ordinary, but still). 

But, all good things must stop or whatever that bloody saying is. 

Niall only lets him pretend for two weeks. At the start of the third, Harry wakes up with him sitting on his feet, shaking his head down at him.

“What the fuck? Dylan. Why did you let him in?” Harry groans, kicking his feet. Niall doesn’t move, though, just grins and wiggles his butt. Irish fuck. Harry hates him. 

“He is persistent as fuck, dude.” Dylan laughs, grabbing his bag and swinging it over his shoulder. 

Niall waggles his eyebrows and Dylan laughs again, giving him a fist bump before leaving, probably to go to the gym since classes don’t start for another hour. 

“What?” Harry asks once the door is shut. Niall shakes his head again and gets up. 

“Come on, out of bed. We’re going to the nurse.”

“Paige isn’t even here this early.” Harry scoffs. And yes, of course he and the nurse are on a first name basis. Sophomore year Harry visited her weekly. He isn’t very coordinated. Team sports was almost the death of him. 

“She is today. I called down yesterday and told her you needed an appointment. She said she doesn’t really do those, but that she would come in early for you. She loves you.”

“We’re friends.” Harry shrugs. “But, I don’t need to see her.” 

“Harry.” Niall’s voice is all stern and it’s weird because Harry has barely ever heard it that way. “You, what? Found out when you were 5 weeks? You must be two months by now, or almost two months. You need to go to the nurse. We need to talk to her about this. We need to find a doctor. You need to get checked out.” 

Harry knows this. He knows all of this. As much as he tried to not think about the baby, every night when he got into bed it was all he thought about. How he needs to go to a doctor, but doesn’t know how to find one because his mum isn’t even in the country, and your mum is supposed to help with things like this, right!? How he just wants her to hold him and take care of him and solve this for him. How he needs to find vitamins and start eating even healthier than he already does. How he is going to start showing down the road and how does he hide that? Does he tell everyone? Fuck, does he tell Louis? 

But, right now, he supposes that the doctor is the most important. Niall makes good points. He is almost two months. He needs to see someone. 

“You can’t run anymore, mate.” 

“I know.” Harry chews on his lip. “I’m just scared.” 

Niall smiles softly. “I know. It’s fucking scary. But, I’ll be with you every step, okay?” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

Harry nods and climbs out of bed. “Okay, let’s go see Paige.” 

\--

It takes them 20 minutes to actually get down to the nurse’s office, Harry having to stop and vomit along the way, but when they do get there, Paige greets them with a huge smile. 

“If it isn’t my favorite klutz!” She laughs, sticking something in a folder. Niall cackles, shutting the door behind them and pulling the blinds. Harry takes it back. He totally doesn’t hate Niall. He’s the best best mate. 

“Hi.” Harry smiles as he sits down across from her. He feels nervous all the sudden. And still kind of sick. Oh, he really hopes he doesn’t throw up again. 

“What brings you here? I don’t see any bumps or bruises. No blood. Nothing looks broken? What’s up?” 

Harry’s mouth feels like a desert and his throat feels all tight. He looks at Niall and he must look extremely panicked because Niall grabs at his thigh and squeezes tight. 

“Come on, Haz. Calm down. It’s just Paige. Tell her.” 

“Tell me what?” 

God, Harry’s going to be sick. He’s not man enough to say it out loud so he reaches into his bag and pulls out the ziplock baggie. He places it on the desk and slides it across. He looks at his lap when Paige picks it up because he can’t look at her face. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t in Harry’s plan.

“Oh.” Paige whispers. “You?” 

“Me.” Harry mumbles. God, he never thought he would be in this position. At least not in this way. Fuck, Harry just really, really wants his mum right now. 

“How far along?” 

“He took those about 3 weeks ago.” Niall says. 

“So…” 

“About 8 weeks...2 months.” Harry answers. “And I came to you-or, Niall made me come to you, because I, my mum’s not here. I’m not from this country. I don’t have a doctor here. I don’t know who to go to or what to do and I ju-” 

Harry has to cut off because he’s seconds from crying and it’s really too early to throw up and cry. 

“Okay. Okay.” Paige nods, setting the baggie of tests aside. “I want to take some blood to confirm. I mean, three tests confirm it pretty well, but I just want us to be cautious. I’ll find the best obstetrician for you to go to, make you an appointment, and then fax over all your medical records. Come see me when you are done with your last class of the day. Sound good?” 

“Yeah, um, yeah. Thank you.” Harry says. 

“You’re the best nurse around, Paige.” Niall smiles, throwing her a wink. She rolls her eyes as she pulls on some gloves. 

“Stop trying to flirt with me, Horan. The answer is and always will be no.”

“Can’t blame a lad for trying, babe.” 

“Harry, roll your sleeve up and please, shut your friend up.” 

\--

Two days later Harry finds himself sitting next to Niall in a stuffy waiting room filled with very, very pregnant women. There’s one other pregnant man, but it doesn’t make Harry feel any better. Everyone is significantly older than him and Harry feels like they are all looking at him, watching him, judging him. 

Niall grabs at his hand, pulling them apart and stopping him from cracking his knuckles. 

“That’s getting fuckin’ gross, mate. Stop.” 

“I’m nervous.” Harry whines. “Everyone is looking at me.” 

“No one is looking at you.” Niall says, waving his hand. “No one can even tell you are pregnant. For all they know, I’m pregnant.” He turns from Harry to the person across from them. “Hey, I’m the pregnant one!” 

“Niall!” Harry gasps, hitting his arm.

“He knocked me up. Sex was a dream it was so good! He has a great dick!” 

“Niall!” Harry grits. He’s fucking horrified. 

“Um? Okay?” The poor, very pregnant woman mutters. 

“Sorry. He’s crazy. Sorry. It’s all a lie. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, Haz. Don’t put your dick down like that! It’s beautiful!” 

“Niall, I swear to god.” 

“Teenagers.” The women tsks, rolling her eyes and going back to her magazine. Niall cackles and Harry hits him again.

“Don’t fucking bother people, Niall.”

“Whatever. Say thank you. Now, they all think I’m pregnant and you’re my baby daddy.”

“Harry Styles?” A young, petite blonde nurse calls out.

“Now they don’t.” Harry mutters as he stands, smiling shyly at the nurse. Niall stumbles after him, tossing his own magazine to the floor. Fuck. Harry really cannot take him anywhere. 

The nurse takes them back, pausing briefly to get Harry’s weight and height. Harry finds it difficult to stand still as he watches Niall from the corner of his eye, the boy poking around at items on a counter that clearly don’t belong to him or need to be touched by his probably greasy fingers. 

Niall isn’t an better in the examination room, standing much too close to the nurse as she asks Harry questions and takes his temperature and blood pressure. Harry swears Niall almost takes the stethoscope from her. The lad is way too into heart sounds. 

“I can’t help that I think it’s a cool noise, Haz.” Niall mumbles as he takes the instrument from the nurse’s hands when she finally gets the hint and let’s him have a go. Harry has no idea how Niall charmed her into allowing this, he was right fucking there and he still doesn’t understand. 

Harry rolls his eyes, but let’s Niall continue. He pumps the cuff up too quickly and harshly in Harry’s opinion, but he keeps his mouth shut. Niall reports his finding, a solid 126 over 83 and he must be right, or pretty damn close, because the nurse raises her eyebrows, seemingly impressed. Niall grins and winks at her. She blushes, mumbling something about the doctor being in a few, and then quickly leaves the room. 

“Reckon I’ll get her number by the time we’re out of here? She’s fit.” 

“You’re a menace. I should’ve never let you tag along.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re grateful I’m here. You’d die without me.” Niall huffs, turning his attention from Harry to fiddle with a model uterus.

While Niall’s statement is a bit dramatic, it rings pretty true. Harry would be bloody terrified without him here. Not to say that he isn’t still terrified, but he is significantly less than he would be without Niall. Truth be told, Niall really shouldn’t even be here. Harry was giving permission and a note to leave school earlier (he totally didn’t tear up about his perfect attendance record being ruined), and Niall wasn’t originally. Harry had be set up with a taxi to take him by himself, since he didn’t have a car, but then Niall stepped in explaining very calmly to Ms. Rosa at the front desk that he would be driving and accompanying Harry and he, too, would be excused from class, and if anyone tries to complain or stop him, they would be hearing from his father. 

The two were out the door three minutes later, no questions asked. 

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious. Your blood pressure was already high, it would be astronomical without me here.”

“It was barely above normal, Niall. Shut up.” 

“Whatever you say, mate.” Niall says. He’s still for a moment before he lunges, jumping at Harry and trying to tickle him to death. 

“No, Niall! No, stop! Oh my god, I can’t breathe. This isn’t funny!”

“Oh, am I interrupting something?”

Harry must’ve been too loud because they seemed to have missed the doctor’s knock. 

Niall laughs as he steps away and Harry straightens his shirt, shaking his head. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not the first time I walked in on parents. Believe me.” 

Niall sounds like he is dying, he snorts so hard and Harry is almost positive his face is going to burst into flames any second. 

“Oh, no. Oh god, no.” He sputters out. “That’s Niall. He, um. Parents? No. I swear. Not, u-”

“I’m Niall, his best mate.” Niall cuts in, saving Harry from rambling to death. “I’m just here to be supportive.” 

“Oh.” The doctor grins. She has a nice smile and a warm presence. Harry likes her. “Well, my apologies.” She rubs some hand sanitizer on. “Nice to meet you, Niall. That means you must be Mr. Styles. It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Burke. You can call me Abby if you’d like.” 

“Hi, Abby.” Harry stutters. He feels nervous again. Niall must sense it because he steps closer, sliding his hand into Harry’s and squeezing. “Um, I’m Harry. You can call me that. If like, I call you Abby.” 

Abby nods. “Seems fair, Harry. Now, let’s get down to it. You’re pregnant.” 

It’s not a question, just a statement, so Harry nods. She nods right back and glances down at some papers. 

“The blood tests confirmed it. There are elevated levels of hCG in your system, so yes, you are definitely pregnant.” 

“Okay.” Harry knows what that means. It’s the pregnancy hormone. It was mentioned in passing by his Anatomy teacher last week. He tried not to throw up for 20 minutes after.

“I have your medical history that your school faxed over and it seems like there is nothing to worry about that could cause complications or be of any risk to the baby. Do you eat well, Harry?” 

“Very.” Harry nods. He’s proud of his health nut-ness. Niall isn’t. 

“Perfect, so when we talk about diet changes and prenatal vitamins and all that jazz, it’ll be easy peasy!” 

“Ew.” Niall whispers. 

She smiles and glances down at the paperwork again. “So, you think you are two months along?” 

“Yes.” Harry nods. 

“Okay, let’s have a look.” She stands, moving over to Harry, pulling on a pair of bright pink gloves. Harry awkward moves his hands out of the way as she pushes up his shirt, feeling and pressing around on the soft skin of his belly. And wow. Harry has a belly. It’s not huge or anything, but it’s soft and small and round and there. He can see it. Can see the little raise. He can’t help, but reach down and press it along with her. 

“Feels weird.” He mumbles.

She laughs. “It’s firm, isn’t it?” 

Harry nods and Niall steps forward, pressing his own hand to Harry. 

“Ugh, Niall!”

“Hey, shut up! I wanna feel if you lot get to feel. It does feel weird. Really firm. Feckin’ weird.” 

Abby laughs again and steps back to grab the wand of the ultrasound. She turns on the machine and grabs a bottle of gel. 

“The movies aren’t lying. This will be cold.” 

And wow, yes, it is cold. Harry gasps at the chilly, slimy feeling and watches her hand glide the wand over his belly.

“Now if I think if I move it just over here, I’ll-oh, yep.” She smiles and Harry feels his mouth drop. Niall takes in a quick breath beside him and grabs his hand because that’s it. That’s his baby’s heartbeat. 

“Oh my god.” He whispers. 

“It’s a good one.” Abby confirms. “Nice and strong.” 

“It, uh, sounds it.” Harry murmurs. He feels choked up and kind of like he is going to cry all over again. 

“You were right about being 8 weeks. This is the baby’s last week of the embryonic stage. Right now your baby is developing fingers and toes as well as some facial features!” 

Abby points out the baby’s head and body to them, but honestly, Harry can’t distinguish. It all looks like one big blob right now. He believes that the tiny toes are there, but the picture is crap. 

“When can you tell the sex?” Niall asks. 

“Between 16 and 20 weeks. So, not for a while.” 

“Dang it.” Niall whines. “I wanna know now! Ugh, that’s such a long wait.”

Abby laughs but Harry finds himself barely cracking a smile. It’s just. Harry feels so fucking sad. He wanted this to be a huge affair. Something his and his husband were so excited and thrilled about. How fun it would be to get the first ultrasound and hear the heartbeat for the first time. Maybe takes some bets on the gender. Now, he just wants to sob. 

“Would you like me to print some pictures Harry?” 

“Um, yes, please. Yes.” Harry mumbles. 

“Hey? You okay?” Niall asks. Harry looks up at him and just shakes his head softly. 

Harry is handed the pictures a moment later and Abby starts to babble on about what to expect the next couple weeks as she writes him up a list of prenatal vitamins and foods to avoid. He finds it hard to pay attention to her words because he’s too busy worrying. Worrying about everything. Babies are a lot of fucking work and Harry can’t do it by himself, he just can’t! But, what if everyone abandons him!? What will he do?

“Harry?” 

“Huh?” 

“Dr. Burke, er, Abby, sorry, she asked you a question, mate.” 

“Oh, I’m, wow. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, honey.” She smiles. “I was just asking if you wanted to make your next appointment now or if you wanted to call later? I want to see you once a month until you are about 28 weeks, then we will switch to twice a month, and then once a week.”

Harry nods and decides to schedule it now to get it out of his hair. A few minutes later he and Niall are out of there and climbing into the car. Harry bites his lip as he stares down at the crumbled list in his hands.

“You okay?” Niall asks. “You seemed, like, really upset after you heard the heartbeat.” 

Harry feels tears start to build up, the words on the paper starting to blur. “It’s just so real, Niall. It’s so real. It’s living. Breathing. Thriving. In me. And, what if, just like, fuck-I. I’m just scared. I’m so fucking scared.” 

“Oh, Haz.” Niall whispers, reaching over and pulling him into a hug. “It’ll be okay. It’ll all be okay.” 

\--

“I think you should tell him tomorrow.” Niall says around a mouthful of toothpaste. Harry sputters around his toothbrush and pointedly glances at the boy next to Niall. 

Niall shrugs, leaning down to spit. “He doesn’t know what we are talking about.”

Okay, yeah, sure he doesn’t but fucking still! Harry doesn’t want to talk about this in the open. He spits and rinses his mouth, tugging Niall from the bathroom. 

“I don’t know.” He mumbles as they walk down the hall to Harry’s room. Niall flops down on the bed, making it difficult for Harry to slid under the covers. He’s such a twat. 

“Haz. You have to tell him, yeah?” 

Fuck, does he have to? Okay, he knows he has to he just is really, really dreading it. 

“I know.” He mutters, flopping back and pulling the covers up to his chin. “Shouldn’t I tell Zayn first? Like, he’s our like other best friend. He’s going to be mad when he realizes you knew before him.” 

“Yeah, whatever. Zayn’s always fucking around somewhere. I was here for you. But, no you shouldn’t tell him first. Obviously, he is your friend and you should tell him sometime, but no. Just- think about it this way Haz, if this was different, you would want to tell your,” He stops, glancing around to Dylan, who has his headphones in and is bent over his desk. “husband first. And then you and your husband would tell your friends. I shouldn’t even know yet. The other dad should’ve known before me. But, we are in this situation and I know first, but whatever, just. You need to tell him.” 

Harry chews on his lip. He knows Niall’s right, he’s just scared. He’s bloody scared of everything lately. “When should I tell him?” 

Niall contemplates for a minute before speaking up. “Tomorrow at lunch. I’m pretty sure he’s in our period. That way you can pull him aside and tell him somewhere private. Everyone will be in class or at lunch so you can definitely find somewhere.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” He nods. Wow, he wishes he could use some liquid courage before speaking to Louis. It really sucks he can’t. 

“All right, mate. I’m heading to bed. Don’t worry your pretty little head too much.” 

“I’ll try.” 

He can’t make any promises though. 

\--

“I don’t want to.” Harry whines, looking over his shoulder at Louis. He’s sitting in the courtyard at a table with all his friends, basically the entire soccer team. Okay, not the entire soccer team, like six members, including Louis and Liam, but still. That’s a lot of boys. Harry can’t do this. 

“Harry!” Niall scolds. “I don’t care if you don’t want to. You have to! You need to!” 

“I just. Ugh, what do I say again?” 

“‘Hi, Louis. Can we talk for a minute. In private?’ Or something along those lines. Now go talk to him!” 

Niall yanks open the door to the courtyard and shoves him out. Harry stumbles, foot catching over the lip of the step out. He hears Niall snort behind him and he glares at him as he smooths his uniform down. Everything’s fine. He’s fine. He can do this. 

He meanders sort of awkwardly over to Louis’ table, dreading the moment he has to stop there. Louis’ laughing with Tyler Hyde his beautiful head tosses back and his eyes all squinty. He looks gorgeous. Harry’s mouth is as dry as bone. 

He stops at the foot of the table, right next to Louis and Liam. Liam looks up at his first, shooting him a friendly smile. 

“Hey.” He speaks up. Harry’s grateful for his kind eyes and gentle features. It calms the erratic beat of his heart. 

The conversations stop and all eyes turn to him. His heart picks up again. 

“Oi?” Louis asks. “Who’re you?” 

Harry’s heart falls to his feet. His stomach turns and he wants to melt into the ground. “I uh-”

“Louis-” Liam starts. 

“Can we help you with something?” Louis asks. Harry really, really wants to melt. He’s face feels all too hot and Louis’ words are crawling under his skin. He feels like he doesn’t have the right to be here, but he knows he does. He has every right. Louis is being sort of rude. 

“I, um. I actually, um. Can I talk to you, Louis? In private maybe?” 

Louis looks at him weirdly and then glances around the table. Everyone but Liam snickers and Harry would really appreciate it if Mother Earth decided to open up and swallow him whole. Really. He would love that. 

“Um, no offense, mate, but I don’t even know your name? I don’t think we really have anything to talk about in ‘private’.” He laughs and the rest of the boys do, too. 

“Louis!” Liam scolds over the laughter. 

“What? I’m being fucking for real, Li. I don’t even know him! What the hell could he want to talk to me about?!” 

“I um-” Harry mumbles. He needs to get out of here, holy shit he needs to get out of here. 

“You are so rude sometimes, Louis. Like, honestly.”

“I’ll just go now. I’m, uh. Sorry to bother you, Louis.” 

“Wait, Harry!” Liam calls after him, but he doesn’t wait. He hurries out of there as fast as he can, yanking open the door. He stumbles over the steps again and Niall catches him, steadying him. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Haz, that was quick, what happened?” 

Harry’s just about to open his mouth when the door opens again and Liam enters. He spots them immediately and comes over. 

“Hey, Harry. I’m so sorry about Louis. That was so rude, I’m sorry, he get like that sometimes, I don’t know why. I’m so sorry.”

“Wait, what did he say?” Niall asks. “Was he mean to you, Haz?”

“No! No-” Harry rushes out but Niall doesn’t listen just pulls open the door and flips Louis off because he seems, or the whole table does really, to be watching the whole exchange. 

“PRICK!” 

“Oi! The fuck Horan!?” Louis shouts.

Niall ignores him and slams the door. “Fuck him.” 

“Hey-”

“Yeah, sorry Liam, I know he’s your best mate, but whatever. Harry needs to talk to him and it was rude of him to like, decline or whatever he said.” 

“No, I know.” Liam agrees. “It was very rude. Can I ask what you have to talk to him about? I can tell him about it and maybe that’ll change his mind to come and talk to you?” 

“No.” Harry and Niall say at the same time. 

“No thank you, I mean.” Harry corrects. “It’s fine. I’ll. Just, no, it’s fine.” 

Liam stills looks sad and apologetic, his eyes big and puppy like. “If you say so, mates.” 

Harry nods and curls into Niall. “Thanks for coming to like apologize for him.” Niall speaks up. Liam smiles shyly. 

“It’s no problem. Been doing it since I was a little kid. I’ll uh, leave you be then. Again, sorry.” He smiles one more time before turning around and heading back to the courtyard. 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Niall says as he turns them and starts walking down the hall. 

Harry doesn’t say anything because what happened isn’t really bothering him anymore. All right, of course it still is, but there’s one thing that’s really hurting him more at the moment. 

“Hey, Niall?” 

“Yeah, mate?” 

“How come he knows your name, but can’t even seem to remember mine? I mean...We had sex. We, Niall, we had sex.” Harry’s voice cracks at the end of his sentence and digs his nails into his palms to try to stop his tears. 

Niall doesn’t say anything in response, just squeezes Harry’s shoulder tighter. 

\--

Harry’s grumpy the rest of the week because he has every right to be. Things in his life are complete shit and he knows it’s all his fault, he shouldn’t have even got in the car with Louis, but still. He’s pouty and he whines a lot because he’s pregnant and he’s moody and he can. 

Niall gets sick of it by the next night and that’s how Harry finds himself in the library on Thursday night, studying alone, instead of going with Niall and Zayn to visitor’s evening at St. Mary’s. 

Whatever, he isn’t upset about it. He didn’t want to see Perrie and Jade anyway. 

He huffs to himself and turns the page of his Calc book, searching for the next problem. He’s interrupted by a knock. 

“Um, come in?” He calls out. He doesn’t know who would want to come in the room with him. All his friends are gone to visitation. 

Harry’s shocked when he sees Louis Tomlinson stick his head in. Louis smiles awkwardly and shuffles in, shutting the door behind him. Harry fish mouths, gaping at Louis.

Louis forces out a quiet laugh before clearing his throat. “You’re a tough cookie to find, popstar.” 

Harry feels his mouth drop even more because popstar. That’s what Louis called him that night. Oh my god. “Oh my, do you, um, you remember?” 

Louis nods and clears his throat again, moving forward to sit in the chair across from Harry. 

“I remembered right after you left, honestly. Liam called you “Harry” and then when one of my mates asked him who you were when he sat back down and he was like called us assholes for not knowing, but then said your name. Harry Styles. Popstar. Mr. Curly. Not Harold-”

“Just Harry.” Harry finishes with him. Louis beams and god, that smile could move mountains. Fuck. How does Louis make Harry so mad and hurt, but somehow still make him feel like his bones are jell-o? He doesn’t understand. 

“I’m sorry.” Louis whispers. “For not remembering at first. And well, acting the way I did. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you. I appreciate your apology.” Harry says sincerely. 

Louis nods and picks up Harry’s pencil, fiddling with it. “So, um, what did you want to talk to me about? You don’t like, have an STD, or STI or whatever, do you?” 

Harry feels himself blush and he shakes his head furiously. He wants to scoff, be like, no of course not, you were my first, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to say that, doesn’t want Louis to know that. Ever.

“Um, no, no. God, no.” He mutters. 

“Then what’s up?” 

“Can we go somewhere, like, more private?”

“We’re in a private study room?”

“Anyone could walk in.” Harry shrugs. That really isn’t what Harry’s worried about. He’s worried about how he will be when telling Louis, how Louis will react. Louis might freak and he definitely won’t want to freak in the goddamn library.

“Okay?” Louis says, face still contorted in confusion. “We can go to my room? Liam’s gone. He’s visiting his girlfriend, Sophia. She goes to St. Mary’s.”

Harry nods and starts packing up his shit. 

The walk to Louis’ room is sort of awkward, Louis trying to make some small talk and Harry bumbling and stumbling over his replies. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to talk all the sudden. 

“Here we are.” Louis smiles, unlocking the door and shoving it open. “Come in. Sorry for the mess.” 

It’s weird because the room is messy, but it seems only one side is, and Harry is guessing it’s Louis side. The other side, Liam’s, is pristine, bed made, clothes put away, shoes in a straight line. Louis’ is the exact opposite, covers half off the bed, clothes littering the floor, food wrappers covering his desk. 

“Liam’s a clean freak and I’m not really into cleaning if I’m honest.” He laughs. Harry laughs along and sits on the desk chair Louis gestures for him, too. Louis plops down on his bed and cracks his knuckles. 

“So, Curly, what’s up?” 

Fuck. Harry does not want to have this conversation. He’s played it over and over again in his head, trying to figure out the best way to say this, but he hasn’t found one. There isn’t a way to sugarcoat this. There isn’t a way to make this happy or really like, positive. They are fucking teenagers. They barely know each other, yet they are having a baby together. It’s so fucked. So, Harry just decides to say it. 

“So, the thing is, um, well, I’m pregnant?” 

Louis’ eyes widen, mouth dropping open. “What?” 

“I’m pregnant.” Harry repeats. 

“And um, me? You, I, I’m the father?”

“I wouldn’t have told you if you weren’t.” Harry mutters, looking down at his hands.

“Fair point.” Louis croaks. When Harry looks back up at him he looks awful. He’s gone pale and he looks like he could be sick any moment. Harry hopes he isn’t because that would make him sick as well and, well, Harry’s been sick too often lately.

“Louis-” He starts, but stops when Louis stands suddenly. 

“I, just. Fuck.” Louis mutters. He pulls at his hair before stumbling to his closet. He fumbles around for something and mutters a small ‘yes’ when he finds it. When he stands Harry can see it’s a pack and a lighter. Louis turns back to him. 

“I-” He starts. He shakes his head again and turns, pulling open the door and fleeing. 

Harry sits there dumbfounded for 10 minutes before heading back to his room. He isn’t really sure what just happened. 

\--

Niall and Zayn find him when they get back. He’s in his room alone, he’s no idea where Dylan’s gone, fiddling with the same pencil Louis fiddled with, twirling it carefully around his fingers. He’s so confused his brain feels foggy. He doesn’t know what to think, what to feel. Should he be mad? He doesn’t think he’s mad? Louis didn’t say anything to make him mad, in fact he didn’t say anything at all. Should he be sad? Louis just left. But, does that reflect anything? Does that mean anything? 

God. Harry’s going to get a headache.

“Babes.” Zayn calls outside the door, knocking once and testing the handle. It’s unlocked so it turns, Zayn and Niall sticking their heads in. 

Harry doesn’t bother to turn and greet them.

“Haz?” Niall asks. The door shuts and Harry feels them come up behind him. He spins in his desk chair and turns to look at Niall. He can tell he wants to ask, but isn’t sure if he can because Zayn’s there. But, Harry doesn’t think it matters anymore. He told Louis.

“I’m not sure.” Harry settles on. 

“What?” Niall asks. 

“How it went. I’m not sure. I’m very confused.” 

“How what went?” Zayn asks, completely confused. Niall looks at Harry with wide eyes and Harry just shrugs. 

“I’m pregnant.” Harry says, trying to convey as much nonchalance as possible. “With Louis’ baby. I told him and he got all bumbly like “what, me, mine? uh, fuck!” and grabbed some cigs and then fled. He left me alone in his room. He didn’t say anything else. I don’t know what it means.” 

“You’re pregnant!?” Zayn nearly shouts. Niall jumps, slapping a hand over his mouth. 

“Zayn, keep it down!”

Zayn shoves his hands off and kneels in front of Harry. “Pregnant!? With Louis’ baby?! As in Louis Tomlinson?!” 

“As in Louis Tomlinson.” 

“What the hell? When did you two fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“He didn’t tell me either if it makes you feel any better. Only told me when he needed to go get a test.” 

“I’m sorry.” Harry pouts. “I should’ve told you, both of you, when it did happen. You shared your first times, I should’ve shared mine. It’s what best mates do. I was just, I don’t know. I didn’t want you to judge me.” To be completely honest though, his was probably the best first time. Zayn’s was with Perrie sophomore year in her dorm room at St. Mary’s when he took Niall’s car and snuck in one night. According to him it was awkward as hell, Perrie somehow bled on his pants, and he barely lasted 2 minutes. Plus, Perrie’s roommate was sleeping only feet away. Niall’s was a bit better, junior year with this girl from the local public school in the master bedroom of some random house party they were at. He claims he lasted a solid 5 minutes. Both Harry and Zayn find it very hard to believe.

Zayn’s eyebrows furrow and Niall squawks. “Judge you?” 

“It was in the front seat of his car, Zayn.” 

“So?” Zayn asks bewildered. “Do you know the places that this kid,” he points at Niall, “has had sex? In a public toilet at a gas station. That deserves some judgement, not a car.” 

“Oi!” Niall whines. “She was hot, I wasn’t going to say no. The head she gave should be written about, in like books.” 

“You’re trash.” Zayn sighs, shaking his head. “I’ve done Perrie in her car, too, Haz. I’m not going to judge you.” 

“Thanks, Z. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Want to see a pic?” 

Zayn smiles slowly, nodding his head. Harry grins, suddenly happy he gets to show off, even if it’s just for a minute. He can pretend this is a good thing for a minute, right? 

He hands the sonogram he pulled from his desk draw to Zayn and he studies it, eyebrows still furrowed and eyes all squinty. “It’s cute? I think.”

Harry laughs. “Me too.” 

“Did Louis really just leave you alone in his room?” Niall asks a minute later. “Like he just left?” 

“He just left.” Harry confirms. 

“Weird.” Zayn mumbles. 

“Not totally? I mean, I wasn’t expecting it, and I don’t know what to make of it, but is it that weird? Running when a random kid you fucked one time tells you he is pregnant?”

Niall and Zayn don’t say anything. 

“I just. I don’t know what it means. I’m confused.” 

“Me too.” Niall adds helplessly. 

“Well,” Zayn shrugs. “Maybe he was just freaking out, like, needed a minute. Hopefully he comes back, says something, makes what he is thinking a bit more clear?” 

“Hopefully.” Harry mutters. 

“Okay, let’s move on from this topic. Real reason we are here: Genevieve Richards. Two words: boob job.” 

“Boob job!?” 

“Boob job.” They in unison. 

“I’m talking, like this big.” Niall says, holding his hands out from his chest. 

“No, no. No way. It’s more like this! Like, not kidding, Haz. They are huge. Huge!” 

\--

Harry gets a text from an unknown number in Anatomy the next afternoon. He’s copying his notes from the screen, typing something about merkel cells and their function in the sensation of touch in the epidermis when he sees the notification out of the corner of his eye. He finishes typing the slide before reading it.

i’m sorry . i shouldn’t have just left u in my room like that . really, it was shit . i’m sorry . 

Harry furrows his brow and clicks reply, typing out a “Louis?” and hitting send. He’s confused at Louis’ message, not his words, his weird space punctuation thing. Does he not know that is incorrect? Harry really hopes he doesn’t write his papers like that. 

haha ! get left alone in boys rooms often, curly ? 

Harry snorts and shakes his head typing back, “believe it or not, it was the first time, haha”. 

good !!! love being firsts ! makes me feel special !! 

He’s added the winking and sly face emoji and Harry feels his cheeks flame up so he dims down the screen of his laptop. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Louis knew he was Harry’s first. 

Yeah, no, Harry’s not going to tell him. 

'How’d you get my number?' Harry types back instead, ignoring Louis’ remarks. He types the next slide, the layers of the epidermis, as he waits for a response, ignoring his teacher going on about the acronym to remember the order. He can remember things without little sayings. He’s great at memorizing. 

i have my ways, curls ! just kidding , liam got it from horan for me . but , back to the point . i’m sorry i left you , i was just like , too freaked out ? i just needed to get out of there and breathe ? but , like that is no excuse cuz no doubt you are more freaked then me , yeah ? like you are the one carrying it , but , i just did . i had to leave . i smoked my whole pack and called liam . even cried ! ha ! but , i’m still v sorry . we need to meet up . talk about this . everything . what we’re gonna do and everything . 

Harry feels his heart lift and the fog clear from his head. He’s happy Louis said something explained himself. He’s also immensely glad Louis isn’t being a dick about it, wants to talk. He hopes they agree on everything. He hopes Louis agrees with him on keeping it. Harry decided that he for sure wanted to last night, lying in bed, running his thumb across the sonogram. He can’t place his baby for adoption, he couldn’t live knowing his child was out there somewhere without him. He knows it going to be hard to live his life with a baby, but he wants to try and stick to his plans. He wants to continue to do excellent in school and get into Yale and get a great scholarship. He wants to go to med school still. It’ll be hard, but he’s determined. Hopefully Louis will stick around and help out. 

Um, not to be rude, but you do know that space punctuation isn’t a thing? Like, that’s incorrect. Isn’t it harder to type like that? Why don’t you just type normally? I hope you don’t write your papers this way. Really, I’m like worried.

'Really ?!' Louis responds right away. 'all that and you respond insulting my texting habits ? who i AM as a person !!? wow , you’re a piece of work styles !'

also , of COURSE i don’t type my papers the way i text ! im not a heathen ! 

Harry snorts and Alx, the boy next to him glares at him. He bites his lip and shrugs. Alx just rolls his eyes. 

Hey, you know Alx Cooper? Why is does he not have an e in his name? It bothers me. 

CURLY !! wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ! i’m trying to apologize and talk about our fucking kid here ! i agree though , it’s fucking weird like who the fuck are his parents ???!? he’s a prick 

He glared at me, so, like, that’s why I said something. Sorry, I’m very easily distracted. 

I’LL SAY ! FUCK ! 

Haha, sorry! I forgive you though. I get that you needed to freak out on your own and talk to your best friend. I did the same with Niall. But, yes, we can meet up and talk. We need to. 

Great ! thank you! i promise not to run away when we talk again ! so , can we meet up tonight and talk ? we can go to dinner ? like , leave the school go into town ? that way we don’t have to worry about anyone over hearing that we don’t want to yeah ? 

...I don’t have a car. :/ 

Um haha ! h , i think we both know i have a car . i’ll drive , haha 

Harry doesn’t know why but his stomach positively flips when he reads the ‘H’. His mum calls him that all the time, but it doesn’t have this effect on him. It’s so cute when Louis says it. He wants to squeeze him, gather him up in his arms and never let go. But, fuck. Harry focuses on the rest of that message, the part about his car. Oh jesus, Louis’ car. Harry is certain he is the color of a very ripe tomato. 

Oh, um, yeah. of course. He adds the embarrassed face emoji. 

You are too cute , haha ! i’ve to go, p sure piers knows im texting ! she’s such a old cunt ! i’ll see you later ? meet me in the lobby around 6 ! 

Harry types his goodbye, forcing his eyes to go back to the smart board at the front of the room. He feels giddy. It’s kinda like he has a date, if you count two boys who barely know each other but fucked and now one is pregnant and they need to talk about the baby and are meeting up to do so as a date. 

Whatever, he’s excited nonetheless. Maybe everything will turn out okay. Harry can only hope. 

\--

Harry twiddles his thumbs as he waits for Louis, scratching at the loose skin around his cuticle. He’s nervous. His palms feel sweaty and his throat tickles. He’s glad he’s alone though, it somehow calms him. He feels like having Niall and Zayn with him would’ve heighten everything, make him even more on edge.

A hand taps on his shoulder and he jumps, looking up and catching Louis smiling softly down at him. 

“Hey, popstar.” 

Harry feels himself flush. “Hi.” 

“Let’s get going.” Louis nods. Harry fumbles to his feet, following Louis to the front desk so they can sign out. 

They’re on their way to the car park when Louis speaks again. “How, um, how are you?” 

“Fine?” Harry nods. “A little stressed. I have an AP Bio test Monday.” 

Louis nods and Harry bites his lip. “Also, you know, being pregnant and while in high school by well, a boy you basically just met, is kinda stressful.” 

Louis laughs quietly and unlocks the car. Harry knows he’s blushing like mad when they both climb in. Harry can’t believe he is here, sitting in the exact same spot that it happen. He feels hot. He hopes he doesn’t pass out. 

It’s silent as they start to drive. It’s not awkward, it’s just very heavy. Harry feels like he’s weighed down, like concrete blocks are tied to his feet and he’s being dragged under. They have so much to talk about and he doesn’t even know where to start. It’s overwhelming to say the least. 

They stop at a stop light and Louis clears his throat, turning his head to glance at Harry. 

“You’re uh, two months right? Cause it was, um, we, at Jensen’s party?”

“Yeah.” Harry laughs awkwardly. 

“Is there a bump yet?” Louis asks. 

Harry shrugs. “A tiny one. It’s more like, my stomach is really firm? If that makes sense?”

Louis nods immediately as the light changes, his foot pressing down on the gas. “It makes a lot of sense. Can, uh, I feel? Or is that weird? Sorry.”

Harry supposes it’s kind of weird, but it’s really not at all because he’s the father. The fathers are supposed to feel the bump all the time, even like, kiss it. Sure, it’s weird that they are having a kid together but aren’t together. But, he’s still the dad. 

“No, that’s not weird. Or, maybe it is. But, you’re the dad. You can touch.” 

Louis grins over at him and Harry can’t help but beam back. 

“Hold on.” Louis says as they pull into a car park. It’s a random dinner Harry’s never heard of, but it looks cute and quaint. Plus, it doesn’t look very busy, so it’s perfect in his eyes. 

Louis parks the car and unbuckles his seatbelt, turning to face Harry. Harry does the same and watches as Louis chews on his lip before carefully reaching forward. Harry’s wearing a sweatshirt and it’s too heavy for Louis to feel properly in his opinion, so he lifts it up, exposing his tiny bump. 

“You have tattoos?” Louis asks, poking at the laurels on Harry’s hips before settling his hand on the tiny swell. 

“Um, yeah, quite a few.” Harry mumbles. 

“Can’t believe I didn’t notice.” Louis shakes his head and presses against Harry’s belly. Yeah, Harry can’t believe he didn’t notice either. He noticed all of Louis’ tattoos. He has all them poorly stretched out in his notebook (it’s not a bloody diary, Niall). 

Harry might have a problem. 

“Very firm.” Louis smiles, all giddy. “It’s cute.”

Harry’s face hurts he’s grinning so hard. He doesn’t say anything, just lets Louis continue to rest his hand, his thumb stroking Harry’s skin softly. Harry doesn’t know why that makes him kind of want to cry. 

“Oh, wait.” Harry mumbles. Louis raises his eyebrows in confusion, shifting his hand away when Harry lifts his hips and pulls his wallet from his jeans. 

“Jesus, you can fit a wallet in those? They’re like, practically part of your skin they are so tight.” 

Harry laughs and rolls his eyes. He’s heard this all before. Niall asks him every time he puts on his jeans if his dick is okay. 

Harry opens his wallet and pulls out the sonogram, the copy he specifically brought for Louis, and hands it over. 

“Oh shit.” Louis curses, taking the picture and examining it closely. Harry watches him, watches as he is silent for a minute before his eyes scrunch up and he lets out this little laugh. 

“It’s like… I can’t even really tell what I’m looking at but, it’s.” He cuts off, shaking his head. “Wow, now I kind of get why me mum always got so emotional over these.”

“You have a lot of siblings?” Harry asks, because while he is admittedly kind of obsessed with Louis, he never asked any questions about him. He didn’t want to draw attention to it, just silently gathered as much information as he could. 

“Four younger sisters, mate.” 

“Oh, damn.” Harry laughs. “I’ve only one older one.”

“Count your blessings.” Louis grumbles. Harry finds himself giggling again and Louis shoots him a smile before he looks back down to the picture in his hands. 

“It’s… like, fuck, this makes it so real. This is in you. I put it in you. It’s real.” Louis repeats that ‘it’s real’ under his breath a few more times before leaning his head against the steering wheel, hands gripping it so tight his knuckles burn white. 

Harry doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if he can reach out and comfort Louis, if it’s okay to touch. 

“Do you just wanna stay in here in talk about it? Let’s just talk about it. We don’t have to go in there.” 

“No.” Louis mumbles against the wheel. He sits up and looks at Harry, pulling the key out the ignition. “I-no. I’m buying you dinner and then we’re going to talk about it. We’ll figure it all out. It’ll be okay.” 

“It will?” Harry asks, pulling his sweatshirt back down and smoothing it out. 

“Yeah. Promise.” Louis sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than Harry. Harry can relate. 

\--

Harry wrinkles his nose at Louis when he orders, completely shocked, and kind of repulsed, that someone could consume fries, onion rings, a burger, and a large chocolate milkshake all in one sitting. 

“Really?” Louis asks him, face scrunched up. Harry fleetingly thinks he looks like a newborn bunny. 

“Really what?” Harry asks, handing the waitress back the menu. She walks off with a promise to be back with their drinks soon. 

“Salad. You ordered a fucking salad.” 

“I like salad.” Harry shrugs. 

“You like salad?! No one actually likes salad, Harry, enjoys eating fucking grass basically!” 

“I do!” Harry laughs. “I love it. I could it eat every day. One of my favorite snacks is kale right from the bag.”

“I…” Louis leans forward on his hands, pausing for what Harry can only assume is dramatic effect. “have no idea what that is, but I’m going to guess it’s a vegetable and I probably will have to never been seen with you again.” 

Harry laughs and rolls his eyes, thanking the waitress when she sets his glass of water down in front of him.

“Gah! And bloody water! What kind of teenage boy are you!?” Louis whines before taking a big slurp of his milkshake. 

“Whatever! I like being healthy! Healthy food is good!”

“Healthy food is blah!” Louis argues.

Harry shakes his head. “To be honest, I should be the one reprimanding you for your food choices, not the other way around.”

“Um, potatoes are a vegetable.”

“Potatoes are a starch.” Harry corrects.

“Um, onions are a vegetable.” Louis spits back without missing a beat.

“Doesn’t really count when they are deep fried.” 

“Your mum doesn’t count when she’s deep fried.” 

“Are you five?” Harry laughs. 

“No. I’m seven. Duh.” Louis scoffs. Harry laughs louder and he swears Louis’ smile almost blinds him. 

“I uh,” Louis starts when Harry’s laughter has died down. “guess it’s a good thing you’re the pregnant one, yeah? I’d be the worst person if I had to start eating healthy. I’d rip off heads.” 

Harry tears at the loose skin around his thumb. “Probably, but. You should eat well anyway, Louis. It’s better for you, for your body. You should take care of yourself. Maybe not eat both fries and onion rings in the same sitting?” 

Louis sticks his tongue out at Harry and pushes a stray piece of hair behind his ear. Harry’s fingers twitch and he has to pinch his thigh to stop himself from reaching across the table to help. 

When their food comes they start to talk more about the real issue at hand. Louis asks him about his morning sickness, if anything triggers it or if it just happens. Harry tells him about his visit to the doctor, how Niall was a twat and how he almost cried when he heard their baby’s heartbeat. 

“You,” Louis pauses, dropping his fry and glancing around, checking to see if anyone is paying attention to them. They aren’t, the closest person to them is on the other side of the dinner. “Um. You don’t want to get rid of it do you? Not that, I mean, it’s ultimately your choice, but like, I do get an opinion, right? It’s half me. And, I. I don’t think I’m okay with terminating.” 

“I don’t want to terminate.” Harry says quickly. Louis exhales, air leaving him like a balloon. 

“Thank fuck.” 

“I just. I love babies. Not that, like, people who terminate don’t love babies. I don’t think they like have a ‘I hate babies’ club, they don’t get like, pregnant just to terminate, like, accidents happen, hello, example A!” Harry laughs, pointing to himself. “I’m sure they have their reasons and you know sometimes it’s better for the health of everyone, both the mum or dad and the baby to terminate but-”

“Harry.” Louis cuts in. Harry uses the pause to take a deep breath. 

“I just. I want to have it. Keep it even, it’s not ideal, I know it’s not. This isn’t how I planned. This isn’t what I wanted and believe me, I’ve spent many nights crying and fretting over this, but I think this is what I want. I want to keep my baby. Our baby. I want to raise it and I want you to help. But, like, only if you want to. I won’t force you. I won’t like, sue you if you don’t. We barely know each other. We are fucking seniors in high school. We aren’t ready for a baby. I won’t make you stay. You don’t have to do this with me. At all.” 

It hurts for him to say, to tell Louis he is okay with him leaving, pretending it’s not his, ignoring Harry and their baby, but he needs to say it. He doesn’t want Louis to feel trapped. It’s just a shitty situation all around, but Harry doesn’t want to be in a shitty situation with someone who doesn’t even want to try to make the best of it. 

“That was, wow. That was a lot of words you just said.” Louis laughs lightly. He clears his throat and looks into Harry’s eyes. Harry thinks they are a color of their own, that nothing will ever be as blue. 

“I want to keep it too, Harry. I want to raise it, too. I’m not going to leave you. You aren’t forcing me into anything. I can’t be forced into this. We made this m-fuck, I don’t want to say mistake. We created it together. It is both of our responsibility. Me real dad is a piece of shit, left like, a week after I was born. I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be him. I won’t be him. I’m sticking around. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, Curly.”

Harry’s heart fucking aches at Louis’ words and he feels like he could cry. It might be the hormones or it might be because Louis is the sweetest, greatest person in the world to Harry right now. 

“So we’re going to do this?” 

“We’re going to do this.”

“We’re going to have a baby?”

“We’re going to have a baby. But, not just any baby, popstar. The cutest, best baby in the entire world. Universe even. Mark my words. It’ll be gorgeous.” 

Harry has no doubt their baby wouldn’t be gorgeous. It’s father is Louis Tomlinson after all. He doesn’t say that though, just laughs and lets Louis try to throw another fry in his mouth. He misses again and pouts until Harry rolls his eyes and eats the fry. Louis cheers, clapping loudly and stomping his feet, announcing to the waitress he made it and scored himself ten points, didn’t even use the backboard! It’s so bloody stupid, Louis is so unbelievably childish. So immature. 

Harry really doesn’t love him. He swears. 

\--

“Haz.” Niall whines from the bed, kicking his feet against the frame. “Come on, please.”

Harry rubs his hand over his stomach once more before pulling down his shirt. It’s only been a little over a week since his appointment, but he swears it’s bigger, firmer, too. 

“Niall, no.” 

“Harry, come on! Come to the party! It’s Halloween, man! You can’t stay in by yourself on Halloween!” 

“I can and I will. Niall, I’m pregnant. I literally can’t drink. I don’t want to go to a party and watch all my friends get drunk while I can’t. That’s no fun.” 

“But you’ll be with your friends!”

“It’s not fun to hang out with drunk people while you’re sober. The only one sober.”

“It’s like being a DD! You’ve been the DD before, Haz!” 

“It’s so not the same, Ni, and you know it.” 

“I hate you.” Niall whines again. Harry just rolls his eyes and ushers him over. The fake blood by his mouth looks like shit, he needs to fix it. 

\--

Forty minutes later, Harry is by himself, not only in his room, but he’s pretty sure in the entire school as well. He feels weird being in the dorm all by himself. It’s way too quiet and creepy. Harry feels like he’s about to get murdered any second. 

It kind of sucks being by himself, especially since what he’s about to do. He should’ve told Niall, should’ve forced him to stay in. It would’ve been hard, but Niall would’ve done it eventually, probably. He loves Harry, right? 

Harry whines to himself and picks up his phone, scrolling back through his texts with Gemma. He had told her earlier that day when they were FaceTiming. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t fun either. It wasn’t how Harry pictured telling his sister he was pregnant. They both cried and they weren’t even happy tears. They were ‘holy shit I’m pregnant’ and ‘holy shit my baby brother’s pregnant’ tears. But, the important thing is that Gemma wasn’t disappointed in him and she told him that if anyway could raise a baby and still go to college, it was him. It made him feel a whole lot better. But, he doesn’t feel better anymore. He feels scared shitless because now it’s time to tell his mum. 

He’s so not ready for this. 

you’re sure mum will be up? It’s 6 in the morning for her 

H, I told you. She and Robin are going to London today and they wanted to get an early start. She’s probably up doing her makeup and such. Just call her, it’ll be okay. And, even if you wake her, she will still talk to you. She misses you. 

Harry wants to cry. He misses his mum, too. And he’s about to destroy her. Crush her. Disappoint her. He’s the worst kid in the entire world. 

Fine. Bye. Love you. Don’t get too drunk tonight. I like you alive.

FUck off, I’m already halfway to smashed! Love you! It’ll be fiiiiiinnnneeeeee. 

Harry sighs again and tosses his phone aside, opening his laptop and FaceTime. His mum answers in what seems like seconds, smiling brightly at him. His heart aches and he can’t help it, he bursts into tears right away. Fuck. Here goes nothing. 

\--

Harry feels like his eyes are swollen half shut. He’s exhausted, his head aches, and he feels dehydrated, like he just cried out every ounce of water his body had. He needs water, his throat’s on fire, but it’s all the way across the room and he doesn’t think he can make it. He flops back on the bed and pulls his blankets tighter around him. He just needs to go to bed. 

He’s woken what must be only 10 minutes later, a banging on his door. He’s confused, but then immediately concerned. He’s alone in this place, right? There are no other boys? Oh, god, what if it’s a murderer? 

“Hello?” Harry calls, his voice shaky. Because, a murderer wouldn’t call back, right? Someone he knew would. Yeah, that makes sense? Fuck. He scrubs at his face as he walks closer. He really doesn’t want to die. 

“Popstar! Open up!” 

“Louis?” 

“Oi!” Louis laughs. He sounds a bit drunk, but that doesn’t surprise Harry at all. It’s almost 2 in the morning on Halloween night (or, technically the morning after Halloween, whatever). Harry’s more surprised he’s here, knocking on his door. 

Nonetheless, he pulls open his door. His mouth dries when he sees Louis, dressed in a skin tight actual, authentic Spider-Man costume. It must really be spandex because Harry can see all the contours of Louis’ body. It grips perfectly at his waist, rests snugly against the soft pudge of his tummy. Harry wasn’t prepared for this. At all. Everything hurts. 

He doesn’t get to look much longer, Louis shoving past him and further into Harry’s room. He leaps up onto Harry’s bed and starts bouncing, rocking on the heels and toes of his feet. 

“I was looking for you all night, Curls! Okay, well, I planned on looking for you when I first got to Piper’s, but then I sat with my friends and drank an arseload of tequila and kind of forgot? But, yeah, yeah, then I saw Horan and I was like, ‘um, Horan!? Where’s popstar!’ And he was like, ‘who?’” Louis laughs. “I was like ‘Harold, duh!’ Anyway, then he tells me that you aren’t there! That you are here and not there! He said you weren’t there because of, well, your current situation. Sad you couldn’t drink. Which, I get totally, but it’s like being the DD! I said that to Horan and he was like ‘fuck I said the same!’ But, you whined and said it wasn’t and okay, sure it kind of isn’t because this is going to go on for like, seven more-”

Louis stops. His eyes were on Harry the whole time, but it’s like he just now registered what he was looking at. Like his brain just realized that there was something wrong. 

“Fuck.” He stumbles off the bed and scurries over to Harry. “Harry, what’s wrong?” He’s gentle when he asks, voice sounding more sober by the second. He wipes at Harry’s cheeks and then suddenly Harry feels a whole new round of tears form and fall down his face. 

“I told my mum.” He whispers, sniffling loudly. 

“Oh my god, Harry, by yourself? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to tell her? Or Niall? We would’ve stayed with you.” Louis sighs, wiping at Harry’s face again. He doesn’t even seemed bothered by the snot Harry knows is there. Somehow that makes him cry harder. 

“I, I don’t know. It’s just, I got myself into this mess, I’m going to be a freaking dad, I should be able to tell my mum by myself.”

“You didn’t get yourself into this mess.” Louis scolds, his voice teasing. “I helped plenty.” 

Harry giggles despite himself, shoving at Louis’ chest. “You know what I mean.” 

“No, I don’t.” Louis shrugs. “You aren’t in this on your own, H. I’m here to help. I’m here for you. So is Niall. So is Malik. Even though he is kind of flighty. I don’t understand that kid’s life or choices half the time if I’m honest...” 

Harry laughs and nods. Louis smiles softly and runs his thumb along his cheekbone. “Is there a reason you are crying though, love? Did she, like, say something? Did it not go well?” 

Harry shakes his head and curls into Louis. He isn’t sure if he can, but he needs to right now. “It didn’t go well?”

“No.” Harry mumbles into Louis’ shoulder. Louis squeezes him tight back and pulls them towards Harry’s bed. 

“It went fine. Perfectly, even. As perfect as it could I guess.” 

“So why are you so upset?” 

“Because. She said she isn’t disappointed in me, but, I just, I can’t help but think she is. I mean, I’m disappointed in me. I thought better of myself. Like, god, I can’t believe myself.” 

“Hey, hey.” Louis soothes, squeezing at his shoulder. “If anything, I should be the one disappointed in myself.”

“Why?” 

“Because, I’m terrified to tell my mum. She had me when she was 18 and she wanted everything for me, still does, and here I am getting someone pregnant at 17? Repeating her mistakes? Well, she doesn’t like to call me a mistake, but I know she didn’t plan for me. She’s going to be really disappointed. I really let her down. I’m so scared to tell her.” Louis bites at his lip and Harry suddenly feels like shit. 

He’s been making everything about him. He’s only been worried about himself and his mum and his sister and his step dad. He hasn’t given Louis or his family a second thought. He’s the worst. 

“Oh, god. Louis, fuck, I’m so sorry.” Harry mumbles. 

“Hey,” Louis shrugs, poking at his cheek. “It’s not just your fault. We both did this. This is both our mess.” 

Harry nods and fiddles with the band of his sweats. 

“Your mum was nice though, right?” Louis asks. Harry’s heart flutters because it sounds like Louis is worried. Worried about him and if he is okay. It hurts. 

“Yeah.” He nods. She was so nice. She cried with Harry when he told her, but she kept assuring Harry that she loves him and that everything will be okay. She said she wasn’t disappointed and that Harry didn’t let her down. She said that accidents happen, but that this will all turn out well and that she can’t wait to feel Harry’s belly and hold her grandchild. Harry cried even more after that. 

“Really nice.”

“I’m glad, love.” Louis whispers. He wipes at Harry’s cheeks once more before standing up. “I know just what you need.” 

He bounds over to the door, picking up a bag that Harry didn’t know he dropped or even brought in. 

“Candy.” Louis beams, shaking the bag. 

“Wait, what?” Harry laughs. “Did you actually go trick or treating? What the hell, I thought you were at Piper’s? Did you all go? People actually gave teenagers candy?”

“Jeez, you ask a lot of question.” Louis huffs, coming back over. Harry laughs and tries to dodge the Twix Louis tosses at his chest. He misses, but he picks it up from the floor anyway, opening it and taking a bite. 

“But, no. We didn’t go trick or treating there. Though, they did have a bowls of candy I did steal out of. My family lives about an hour ago, we moved here when I was 10 when my mother married my stepdad, or ex step dad? I don’t really know, he’s like the closest thing I have to a dad, though. Anyway, I drove out to see my sisters and how cute they looked in their costumes. I snagged some of the candy they got from school.”

“Oh my god. You stole their candy! You are the worst big brother!”

“Excuse you! I’m the best! I’m saving them from a mouth full of cavities!” 

“By giving yourself them instead?” 

“Absolutely. Gotta protect my little ones. Their teeth are more important than mine.” Louis smiles. Harry smiles back at that because that is just too cute for words. God, Harry wants to see Louis with his siblings. He bets it’s the worst thing ever. Bloody disgusting, even. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Louis asks, settling back against Harry’s pillow. 

“Don’t you want to get back to the party? I’m okay I promise. You can head back.” 

Louis rolls his eyes and grabs Harry, making him stumble back onto the pillow next to him. “Shut up, Curls. You’re so bloody annoying. For that, I pick the movie. And, I got to tell you, right now, I’m pretty set on Spider-Man.” 

“Can your ego handle that? Don’t want it to get too big.” Harry laughs, poking at his spandex covered tummy.

“Oh, darling.” Louis coos, grabbing his finger. “Don’t worry about me. I can handle anything.” 

\--

Harry doesn’t really know how it happens, but him and Louis become friends. Somewhat. Sort of. 

They aren’t best friends. They aren’t all over each other all the time. It’s more simple than that, more subtle. Louis will smile at him in the hallway or offer him a slight wave. They hang out a few times, studying together in the library, Louis going with him and Niall to town. 

It’s weird and hard to explain. Harry likes it, loves it, maybe. But. 

It sort of sucks if Harry’s honest. It’s lovely when it’s just the two of them, or Niall, or that one time with Liam, but, it’s shitty when they are around the school, in “public”. 

Sure, Louis offers him a smile, but he turns away after that, choosing to chat with his mates instead of say a quick ‘hello’ to Harry. He only comes to study with Harry in the library if his friends are busy. He only goes to town when he’s out of something and doesn’t feel like driving or can’t hitch a ride with his friends. 

It sucks because Harry feels like he is second, worse than second, third, maybe even seventh, possibly (most likely) tenth. The point is he isn’t Louis’ first and it breaks his heart. 

This isn’t how he thought the father of his child would treat him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. It wasn’t in Harry’s plan. 

Harry knows he should get over it, bury the plan in the ground already, toss a few roses on top and blow it a kiss goodbye, but he can’t. He can’t help but be all hung up and upset over it still. 

He loves his baby, treasures it, really, but it was created at an unfortunate time and in a shitty situation. It’s just Harry’s luck he got pregnant his first time. He doesn’t get to experience sex as a free person, as a bloody teen for god sake’s. He can’t fuck around and suck dicks left and right. He’s going to have a fucking child soon. It sucks and Harry still wants to cry about it. He wants to cry that he’s 17 and pregnant, he wants to cry that Louis basically ignores him around the school. His hormones are making him feel crazy and his face feels puffy all the time and everything fuck sucks. 

Harry’s life is fucking hard right now and fuck Niall for telling him he is being a baby after he whined to him that Louis barely even smiled at him this morning in the hall! He has every right to cry about that! It’s shitty! Harry just. Harry just doesn’t understand why Louis won’t say hi to him. 

He just wants him to say hi. 

\--

Harry’s three months pregnant, Thanksgiving is around the corner, and he can’t afford to go home. 

It’s no surprise, really. He hasn’t been home for Thanksgiving since freshman year, but it doesn’t hurt any less. In fact, it hurts even more now that he’s pregnant. It’s not like Thanksgiving is important to his family, they are English after all, but he just wants to go home and see his Mummy. He wants her to hold him and tell him everything is going to be all right. He just wants to see her face in person and he bloody can’t because he’s poor as hell and his mum can only afford to help one kid, not both, which sucks and is unfair, so both he and Gemma just decided not to go home yet again this year. 

It sucks even more this year though because Gemma’s working the entire break. Harry might borrow Niall’s car and drive up to Harvard to visit her, but it barely seems worth it. She’s over two hours away and they would get next to no time together. 

“Hazzy,” Niall says, clapping his shoulder and shaking him out of his internally crying. “I told you I would pay. You know me Ma and Da wouldn’t mind.” 

Harry huffs and closes out of window. He needs to stop staring at those tickets. 

“No, Niall. I would feel too bad, plus Gems.” 

“They’d pay for her, too.” 

“She’s working the whole break, I told you. Thanks, but, I can’t accept that.” 

“Ya are too good of a person, Haz.” Niall pinches his cheek and Harry shoves him away, picking up his AP Euro book up from his bed. 

“Shut up.” 

“I just don’t want you to be alone, mate. It’ll be creepy being here all by yourself.” 

“I’ve done it before. It’s never too bad. Plus, the cook always leaves me a whole chocolate pie.”

“Chocolate pudding pie!? Fuck, that shit’s good. But, that’s so bloody sad, Haz. Eating pie all by yourself in this feckin’ dorm room. I can’t handle that. I’ll stay with you, me Da won’t mind.” 

“Niall, no. You want to see Greg.” 

“No, I want to see Theo. Couldn’t care less ‘bout Greg. He’s a cunt half the time.” Niall laughs. Harry rolls his eyes, shoving at Niall again.

“Whatever, you still want to see them all, don’t lie to me.”

“I can see them at Christmas-”

“Niall.” Harry cuts him off. “Just, drop it, yeah? It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

Niall huffs and flops on the bed besides Harry. “Fine. If you goddamn say so. Let’s move on, I guess, put that bloody big brain of yours to good use and help me figure out a way to memorizes all this feckin’ dates before I hang me self. If you don’t I’m doomed to write ‘history can suck my cock’ for all my short answers again and me Ma would kill me if she gets another call like that.” 

\--

Harry’s in the study room by himself a few days later, trying his best to stay positive and confident in himself and his school work. It’s not working that well so far. Bio can eat his arse. His concentration is broken a moment later by the bang on the door. He rolls his eyes when he sees it came from Louis who pressing his face against the glass like some three year old. He waves him in. 

Louis beams and pulls open the door of the study room, coming in and plopping down on the chair across from Harry. 

“Well, hello popstar.” 

“Howdy.” Harry replies, highlighting the next line of text in his biology book. Stay focused, Styles. “What’s up?”

“Was gonna ask you the same? Why aren’t you at St. Mary’s?”

“Didn’t want to watch Zayn make out with Perrie.” Harry shrugs. “Plus, I’m working on a study guide. Why aren’t you there?”

“Sort of the same. Didn’t want to watch Liam make out with Soph.” 

Harry hums and highlights another line. He feels Louis watching him and his face heats up under the attention. “What?” 

“Went to your room first. You know, to find you.” Louis shrugs causally. 

“Uh huh.” Harry doesn’t really know where Louis is going with this and he really would like to finish this study guide. His bio test is next week and cellular respiration is a pain in the ass. Harry needs all the time he can get to review and try to understand it. 

“Yeah, you weren’t there so I went to Niall’s. He was packing, you know, because he is heading back home next week, to Ireland or whatever. He’s really excited.”

“Yeah, don’t get him started. He loves Ireland.” Harry mumbles, turning the page. 

“I asked him if you were as excited, I mean, I was guessing the answer was no because you weren’t there with him packing.” 

“Uh huh.”

“Imagine my surprise when I found out you weren’t ever going to pack!”

“Yep.” 

“Harold!” Louis shouts, slamming his hand down on the table. Harry jumps, dropping his highlighter. 

“Jesus, Louis! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“No, I’m trying to get you to pay attention to me! And answer my questions!” 

Harry sighs. “Okay, fine, what? Yeah, I’m not going home, who cares, not a big deal.” 

“Not a big deal? You are going to be here for 5 days, all by yourself! That’s creepy and lonely! That’s a big deal!” 

“No, it’s not. I’ve done it before. It’s fine.”

“You’ve done this before!? Bloody hell, what the fuck!? I can’t have this. No, can’t.” Louis huffs, shaking his head. “I won’t stand for it.”

“Stand for it? Louis, what are you on about? It’s okay, really. I’m fine. I’ve done it before. I can stay by myself, I’m a big boy.” 

“No.” Louis shakes his head. “I-no. You’re going to come home with me.” 

Harry’s speechless. Actually speechless. He doesn’t understand, can’t wrap his mind around it. Louis wants him? To come home with him? To stay with him, at his house, over a holiday?

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“Come home with me. Please?” Louis pleads. 

“Oh, Louis. I, I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“It’s not weird to have a friend come to yours when they can’t make it back to theirs.” 

“What?” Harry asks. He’s confused, he’s sure that made sense but he can’t bloody process anything right now. Louis is asking Harry home with him. He doesn’t know what to do. 

Louis ignores his question. “It’s especially not weird to bring the father of child home. Don’t you agree?” 

“I mean, yeah, I gue-”

“Plus, I… well, I haven’t told my mum yet.” 

“What?! Louis you told me you were going to tell her last week.” 

“I know. I know.” He whines. “But, I got scared and then I figured it was better to tell her this kind of thing in person. So I thought I’d just tell her over break. It’s perfect if you come with me. She can meet you and like, I don’t know. It’s better this way, I’m sure. So, please? Come home with me?” Louis pushes out his bottom lip. 

Harry almost wants to laugh at that. Like Louis would ever need to do that to get Harry to agree to whatever he wanted. He’s already putty in his hands. He’d do anything Louis asked. He should probably be worried about it, honestly. 

He really should be worried about how easily he was convinced, but it makes a lot of sense. Louis’ mum needs to know and Harry would’ve met her eventually, just like Harry’s mum will hopefully meet Louis, so why not just go with Louis to tell her? It’s like, killing two birds with one stone. Plus, Harry won’t be all alone. Sure, he doesn’t mind being by himself, but it gets boring and depressing after a few days. 

“Well,” Harry shrugs. “I’m sure my mum and Niall would be happier if I went home with you.” 

“Absolutely! So you should definitely do it! Please, please, please!” Louis asks.

Well, okay. It looks like he is really going to do this. This is actually going to bloody happen. 

Harry sighs. “Okay, okay. Yeah. I’ll go home with you.” 

\--

Harry doesn’t know why he agreed to this. 

Okay, yes he does, he’s head over heels over this insane, loud mouthed little shit. He’d agree to anything he fucking asked. 

But, still. Harry really, really doesn’t know why he agreed. Why he let himself say yes. Harry is number two, almost number one (he’s so fucking close he could cry), in his class. He’s smart. He’s fucking intelligent!

He doesn’t know why he put himself here. In this car. With Louis. Who drives like a fucking maniac. 

He’s certain he’s going to die. Louis’ going to roll the car and they are going to end up in a ditch, Harry knows it. 

As awful as it sounds, he sort of hopes that happens. He’s just so nervous is the thing. He’s meeting Louis’ mum. He knows it’s not really as big of a deal as he’s making it in his head. It’s not like he is meeting the parents of his boyfriend. No, he’s just meeting the mum of the boy who knocked him up. 

Harry can’t tell if that’s scarier or not. He bets it is. 

“Would you calm down?” Louis asks, taking a turn too quickly. Harry’s stomach flips. 

“I’m trying, really I am, but your driving is very much adding to my anxiety.” 

“Oi! Was that meant to be cheeky? ‘Cause that was kind of cheeky, Curls. I’m proud.” Louis quips, reaching out and pinching at Harry’s cheek. His other hand still on the wheel slips a bit and the car veers slightly. 

“Louis.” Harry groans. Louis cackles loudly and pulls away from Harry only to pick up his phone to change the music. A Drake song starts playing and all Harry can think is that if he died right now, at least Zayn would be happen he went down to ‘such a sick tune’. 

\--

Louis’ house, nay mansion, is huge. Absolutely fucking massive. Harry’s sure even calling it a mansion is beneath it, because this thing is a work of art. It’s made all of gray stone and has huge, beautiful windows framed by dark shutters. Louis pulls around the circle drive and Harry gawks at fucking five car garage and the Audi he sees in it. If he cranes his neck he can see not only the outdoor pool, but the building that houses the indoor pool as well. According to Louis is also has a sauna and a steam room. Louis doesn’t completely get the difference, but he tells Harry that his mum has tried to explain it multiple times, he just doesn’t care enough to listen. 

Harry’s never seen something so beautiful and when he tells Louis so, the boy just stares at him. Harry feels himself flush and Louis grins when he sees, poking at Harry’s cheek before shaking his head and muttering “I have.” 

It’s cryptic and weird, except it’s totally not. Harry’s stomach flips and when he tries to sputter out a response, Louis just laughs and climbs out of the car. 

It takes Harry a few moments before he’s able to follow because he’s pretty sure Louis just called him beautiful and he has no idea what to make of it. 

\--

Louis’ family is loud. 

Harry doesn’t know why he’s so shocked. Louis’ loud. Of course his siblings would be loud. It only makes sense. 

But, still, he’s shocked. 

He’s shocked by the gaggle of girls. Their shrieks are overpowering and Harry swears if the pitch was just a tad higher his ears would start bleeding. 

They are adorable, though, each and every one of them. Lottie and Fizzy, the oldest at 10 and 8, don’t seem to care too much for Harry. They are polite and sweet, Lottie even blushing when Harry focuses his attention on her for longer than a minute (Louis thinks she has a crush), but they aren’t as invested in Harry as the twins. 

The twins are absolutely infatuated with him and Harry is completely infatuated back. They climbed into Harry’s lap the minute he sat down and he can’t seem to get rid of them. Not that he wants to, of course. They are tiny and blonde and cuddly and the cutest little things Harry has ever seen. He wants to hold them close and never let go, put them in his pocket and carry them around forever. 

Louis’ mum isn’t as loud as her children, but she’s just as funny, if not more, as Louis. She’s smart and beautiful and elegantly dressed, which is to be expected (Harry learned on the drive over that she’s a big time art dealer). She doesn’t put up with Louis’ shit, serving his sass right back at him twice as hard. It’s hilarious to see Louis put in his place so easily and it’s even funnier watching him get all embarrassed and twitchy when his mum breaks out the baby pictures. 

“They love you.” Louis whispers that night, standing in the doorway of the guest room. Speaking of the guest room, Harry can’t believe it. It has a king size bed and an en suite and it’s still only half the size of Louis’ room. This house is honestly unbelievable. 

Harry smiles up at him as he snuggles under the covers. 

“Yeah?” He asks. 

“Yeah.” Louis nods. “So much. Pheebs didn’t want to go to sleep, was scared she wouldn’t see you again.” 

Harry’s heart is absolutely melting. It’s too cute. He thought only Louis was going to kill him, turns out he was wrong. All the Tomlinsons are. 

“I’m glad. I love them, too.” 

Louis’ face is so soft as he looks at him, Harry finds himself, not for the first time and probably not for the last, wanting to kiss him. 

“I’ll let you go to sleep.” He says after a moment. “You know where my room is. Don’t hesitate to like, come find me or text me or something, yeah? Like, if you need anything.” 

“Okay, goodnight, Louis.” Harry keeps his voice quiet because it feels like this moment is precious. Sacred, even. 

“Goodnight, H.” 

Harry goes to sleep that night with his heart pounding and his stomach fluttering. He knows it’s too early, way too early, but he likes to think it’s their baby. 

\--

Thanksgiving Day starts bright and early. 

Harry’s woken up by the Louis and the twins. Louis helps the two of the onto the bed and Harry pretends to be sleeping as they crawl over him, poking at his cheeks and pulling at his hair. When he “wakes”, he grabs Daisy (he hates himself because he only knows it’s Daisy because Louis mouths that it’s her, it’s just hard, they are freaking clones) and Louis grabs Phoebe and they attack them with tickles and blow raspberries all over their bellies.

It’s stupid and Harry hates it. He hates how natural this feel, lying in bed with Louis. With Louis and children. He hates how his heart fucking aches as he watches Louis. Louis is so, he’s just so in his element. He fits like this. Harry can see it so clearly. He can picture it, picture them together, picture their life turning out this way and it fucking hurts. He hates it. 

He’s forced out of his day dream by Phoebe shrieking louder than ever, shouting for Louis to stop because she has to pee. He stops immediately and she runs off, Daisy following after her. 

“Happen often?” 

“All the time, mate.” Louis laughs. “I didn’t believe her the first time. Let me tell you, getting peed on is not cute.” 

“I don’t doubt. But uh, will probably happen. You know.” Harry gestures to his stomach. Louis’ eyes flicker down and he leans forward, resting his hand against Harry’s bump. 

“How do you feel? How’s your morning sickness been going?” 

“Good.” Harry answers, placing his hand next to Louis’ on his tummy. “I haven’t been sick in a few days. It’s nice.” 

“Yeah, I bet.” Louis laughs. He looks like he’s about to say something, but they are interrupted by Lottie shouting at them about breakfast. 

“Come on, mum always makes sick waffles on Thanksgiving. Let’s go.” 

\--

The waffles were sick, but they are nothing in comparison to the feast Jay makes for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s delicious, possibly the best thing Harry’s ever eaten (don’t tell his mum that). 

The turkey is amazing, the potatoes are to die for (he is sure he ate half the serving), and Louis even told his mum to make Harry a chocolate pudding pie. It was so sweet of him and the pie is so bloody good. Harry’s in heaven. 

He’s so grateful their baby decided not to make him sick this morning, but also annoyed. He could’ve used more room. Louis snorts when he tells him that, shoving him away and going to help round up the girls. Turns out they go to their dad’s Thanksgiving night so Louis’ mum and her friends can go Black Friday shopping in peace. 

Harry gathers up his plate and Louis’ and heads towards the kitchen. Jay’s at the sink and Harry joins her, picking up his own sponge to help clean. 

“Oh, dear, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I want to.” Harry shrugs, smiling at her. “It’s the least I could do. Thanks again for having me. Dinner was delicious.” 

“You’re sweet.” She laughs. “You’re always welcome here, darling. Any friend of Louis’ is always welcome.”

Harry mumbles his thanks and they continue scrubbing the plates in silence. It’s a few minutes later, when Harry bends down to place the plate in the dishwasher when Jay clears her throat. 

“So,” She says. It’s in that motherly way that sort of just commands attention. Harry straightens up and faces her. Is he in trouble? Did he do something wrong?

She smiles at him softly and he calms down. It’s only for a moment though because she looks him up and down and his heart rate escalates. “How far along are you?”

Harry can practically feel the blood leave his face. His palms get sweaty. He opens his mouth, but he can’t find words, can’t bloody speak. 

“I-how, just how-” He finally gets out because really, how?! Louis hasn’t said anything. He told Harry he wanted to wait until the girls left. 

“Harry.” She smiles. “I have five children. I’ve been pregnant four times. I can tell these things. Plus, you keep doing that.” 

“What?” Harry asks. 

“That.” She nods to his stomach and Harry looks down. His palm his resting against the swell of his belly. Oh, god. He didn’t even notice he was doing that. Oh my god. 

“Oh my…” He whispers. 

“You look around well, three months, I’m guessing? You can’t really tell, but you kept touching your belly and now I can tell. I can see it.” 

“Yeah.” Harry chokes out. This was not the way they were supposed to tell her. Fuck. Harry is a ruiner. All he does is ruin plans. He should never plan anything again. 

“Oh, love. May I ask? Are you in this alone? Or is the father going to stick around? Who is the father? Does he go to Hillcrest?” 

Harry’s eyes widen and he really, really does not know what to say. He feels dizzy and flustered and oh my god, where the fuck is Louis?!

“I-” 

“Oh my god.” Jay gasps. 

“I-” Harry says again. His heart is picking up even more. He’s going to fucking pass out. He’s going to have a panic attack. 

“They’re gone!” Louis announces entering the kitchen. “Now, I do really love those ladies, but can you believe it! We finally get to watch something with a rating over PG tonight. How thrilling.” 

Harry spins to face him and Louis’ face falls. “What’s wrong?” 

“I, I-” Harry stutters. He feels close to tears. “I didn’t say anything. I swear, she guessed. Louis, she guessed.” 

Louis looks as white as Harry feels now. He bites at his lip, staring back at Harry and then glancing to his mum. It’s unnerving because she isn’t saying anything, just standing there and waiting, looking at the both of them. 

Harry doesn’t expect what happens next. Louis just breaks down, dissolving into tears. Jay rushes to him immediately, wrapping him up in her arms and letting him heavy against her chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, mum.” Louis cries. 

Harry’s chest tightens even more as he watches the exchange. He doesn’t feel like he should be there, so he sneaks out of the room and into the sitting room, collapsing on the couch and pulling his knees to his chest. 

It’s sucks because that’s what he wanted to do. He wanted to be the one sobbing into his mum’s chest. He wanted her to wrap him up, pet his hair, and make everything better. 

Instead, he’s here. Sitting on a couch alone, crying into his knees. 

This really isn’t what Harry planned. 

\--

Louis comes and finds him a bit later, sitting next to him on the couch before pulling him into his lap. He lets Harry cry into his chest and pets at his hair. It’s not his mum, but it’s sweet and perfect and just what Harry needs. 

Harry sleeps in Louis’ bed that night, both of them too exhausted and upset to be alone. Harry doesn’t even let himself think about what it means, doesn’t read into how well they fit together, Harry the little spoon and Louis the big. It’s too much and he’s too tired. Instead, he focuses on Louis’ soft breathes and the gentle movement of his chest. He’s asleep within minutes. 

\--

The trip to Louis’ changes things. Harry and Louis become closer, dare Harry say best mates. The rest of the trip, Harry spent staying in Louis’ room with him (surprisingly, Jay was okay with it, Harry thinks it’s because Louis told her that they aren’t together and no, his heart didn’t hurt at all from that) and just getting to know him. 

They stayed up late together and watched dumb movies, cuddled up in Louis’ massive bed with huge bowls of popcorn and pieces of candy Louis stole from his sisters. They told each other what feels like everything, stories about their childhoods, first kisses, lives back in England. Louis told him about his dildo of a sperm donor (his words, not Harry’s) and Harry told him about how he knows his dad knows because his mum told him she told him, but he hasn’t called, in fact he hasn’t rung Harry in weeks. 

Louis looked at him gently, then, grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it tight. He whispered to Harry that they wouldn’t be that way. They wouldn’t be like their dads at all. They’d be the best dads in the world. Their kid would never have to lie awake at night, crying and wondering if their dads loved them. They would know how much they did, would be shown every day. 

Harry cried at that, practically bawled. It was embarrassing and he felt like a fucking loser, but then Louis shh’d him, wiped at his tears and kissed his face until he stopped. He kissed his lips when he finally, finally did and Harry remembers his breath hitching when Louis didn’t move his lips away, just pressed against Harry even more. 

They made out for what felt like hours after that. It wasn’t anything much and it didn’t get too heated. If anything it was more comforting than sexy. 

Harry doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what it meant or if it even means anything. They haven’t spoken of it and Harry’s too scared to bring it up. But, really, he’s more than content to just leave it be. 

\--

“Can you please not touch that?” Harry asks, practically begs. Louis snarls his lip at him and because he is a little shit, doesn’t put the model uterus down. Niall cackles. 

“Ugh, why did I even agree to bring you?” 

“I’m the other dad. It’s my right to come.” Louis announces, setting the model back down and coming over to Harry to rub at his bump. It’s getting bigger. He’s four months and it’s starting to become a pain in the ass to hide. He’s glad it’s December and he can wear his biggest, baggiest sweaters to conceal it. 

“Well, what about that twerp? He’s nothing.” Harry mumbles, pointing to Niall. 

“Oi, excuse you.” Niall shouts. Honestly, fucking shouts. They are in a fucking doctor’s office. The kid needs to learn some respect. 

“I’m here because I’m the godfather. No doubt.” 

“I don’t remember saying that.” 

“Oh, it’s ‘cause you don’t have to Haz. I just know. I mean who else would be?” 

“Zayn.” 

“Bite you’re fucking tongue, lad. I’ll kill ya.” 

Louis laughs. “Man, you’re a fucking riot, Niall.” 

Niall shoots Louis a wink and wraggles his eyebrows. God, Harry is friends with children. He’s saved from dealing with more of their stupid antics by the door opening and ultrasound technician entering. It isn’t an actual appointment to check the baby’s health, just one made specifically to find out the sex, so Dr. Burke didn’t have to be there. 

“Hi everyone.” He smiles. “You ready to find out the sex?” 

“Yes!” Niall shouts. Louis laughs and cheers along with him. Harry rolls his eyes and blushes slightly as the man smiles at him. 

“Got quite the loving crowd don’t you?” 

“I mean, sure. Loud crowd.” Harry stutters. Louis coos and pinches at his cheeks. 

The man laughs and turns on the machine before pulls on some gloves. “Push up your sweater for me, please.” 

Harry does as he is told, folding up the sweater and waiting patiently for the gel. Even though he knows it’s coming, it still startles him. 

“Cold?” Niall asks, settling besides Louis. 

“Absolutely freezing.” 

The technician apologizes with a laugh and pulls out the wand, placing it on Harry’s stomach and moving it around. The room fills with the sound of their baby’s heartbeat and Louis gasps, reaching for Harry’s hand and squeezing. 

“Amazing, right?” Niall asks, slapping a hand on Louis’ shoulder. Louis doesn’t say anything, just nods, eyes never leaving the screen. 

“All right. If we just move this around just a little bit-ah.” He smiles. “Ready to know?”

“Please!” Harry begs. He wants to know so bad. 

“Tell us already, mate!” Niall whines. Louis nods rapidly. 

“Congratulations, boys. It’s a girl!” 

\--

“You owe me twenty, mate!” Louis laughs on the drive back. “I fuckin’ knew it!” 

Harry laughs at the way Niall whines and pouts, even kicks his feet against the seat in annoyance. 

“I feckin’ thought it was going to be a lad! Harry, you let me down! You traitor!”

“How am I a traitor! I told you not to bet on a boy! Louis has four sisters!” 

“Yeah, but he was the first! His mum had a boy first! I thought it was going to be like that. Ugh!” 

Louis just cackles and sticks his hand out for Niall to slap the money into it. He does, but not without grumbling like a child. 

Harry smiles as Louis does his best to pocket the money and drive. He’s happy it’s a girl. Really happy. After seeing Louis with his little sisters, he can imagine perfectly what he will be like with their girl. Their baby. Their daughter. 

It hurts, but in the best way possible. 

\--

There really is no way for Harry to hide his bump anymore. 

Okay, there is still, but the school he attends is so wealthy it’s practically oozing money. So, obviously that means they don’t skim on the heat. Connecticut is bloody cold in the winter so Hillcrest fucking cranks it. It’s so warm and toasty, there are boys walking around the dorms in t shirts and vests. 

The point is it’s fucking hot and Harry can’t wear his heaviest, thickest sweater every day without practically melting to death. He has other sweaters that sort of hide it, but his bump is big now. Harry’s always been tall and lanky, so the sudden swell of his stomach is pretty obvious, even under the layers. 

So, while Harry knows that any day could be the day he’s found out, he’s still not prepared for it. 

It’s the week of finals and Harry’s up late. Dylan’s already sleeping, Niall, Louis, and Zayn, too. His eyes are burning and when he looks at the clock he realizes it’s nearly 1:30 in the morning. His Bio final is only in a few hours and he really should head to bed soon or his brain will be useless. 

He needs to head to the loo, to brush his teeth and pee, so he crawls out from his covers and cracks his back as he stands. He decides against pulling a sweater on because he highly doubts anyone else will be up, so he makes his way in just a plain v neck. The shirt used to be baggy on him, but now it’s form fitting, the fabric stretching tight across his belly. 

He’s just finishing up brushing his teeth, spitting into the sink and wiping his face when Tyler Hyde enters. He looks exhausted, rubbing at his face and yawning from his place in the doorway. Harry feels himself freeze.  
“Styles?” Tyler asks, his hands dropping. “You fucking nerd. You still up studying, to-” He cuts off, eyes dropping to Harry’s belly. 

“Holy shit.” He seems much more awake now, much more alert, but Harry’s still frozen. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to say, if he should even say anything. He feels sick. 

“Holy fucking shit.” Tyler says again and Harry can’t be in here. He has to get out. He picks up his shit and pushes past Tyler, running down the hall to his room. 

He climbs into his bed as soon as he gets there, curling up into a ball and yanking the covers over his head. He’s is shock. He has to be. He can barely breathe his heart is beating so fast. He turns over grabbing for his phone. He thumbs up his messages, typing out two quick texts, one to Louis, one to Niall, both of which include a lot of exclamation points and ‘FUCK’s. 

He doesn’t get any responses and he’s not surprised. It sucks because he could really use some calming down right now. He’s no longer worried about his Bio test, he couldn’t care less. In a few short hours, everyone is going to know Harry’s secret.

He feels really, really sick. 

\--

Niall’s at his door when Harry finally decides to leave his room the next morning. He snoozed three times before he finally plucked up the courage to drag himself out of bed. If it was really up to him he’d stay in bed all day, but he has his Bio final today as well as his Calc and Euro so he needs to get a move on. He barely got any sleep, tossing and turning, feeling like at any second he could puke. 

He’s scared to face the world today, but having Niall there and walking to class (because Harry’s a wimp and skipped breakfast) with him helps. It does nothing to stop the stares and the whispers. 

He feels like a zoo animal and a bit like he goes to an all girl’s school with the way everyone is pointing and looking him up and down, head to toe. 

Niall is a force to be reckon with though, he pushes and shoves his way around everyone, pulling Harry along and getting them to class in record time. 

“You good? Hungry? I have a granola bar?” 

“No, no. I’m good. Just wanna take this test.” And go home. Harry really wants to go home.

\--

Harry hasn’t heard from Louis all day. He wants to be worried, okay he is worried, but he doesn’t have time to focus on it. He has his Latin, Anatomy, and Sociology finals tomorrow, and his Psychology the day after. He doesn’t have time to worry about where Louis is or why he hasn’t responded to five texts. He needs to study. He has to study. 

\--

Harry’s exhausted by the time he’s finished with his Soc final. He wants to head back to his room and take a quick nap before forcing himself to review Psych one more time, but Niall and Zayn have other plans, dragging him to the cafeteria instead. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“Bullshit.” Niall calls. 

“Yeah, I don’t buy it. You know you are eating for two, right? You need to eat well and regularly.” Zayn adds, pulling him by his elbow over to a table. He can feel everyone’s stares on them and the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. 

“I don’t want to be here. Can we not eat here? Let’s eat in one of our rooms.” 

“Can’t do that. Gregory caught me last time and gave me detention. Claimed I was the one that caused the ant problem. Bullshit, that was totally Stevens, kid’s an ass.” 

“Niall.” Harry whines. 

“Haz.” He whines right back, laughing when Harry juts his lip out. “I’ll go get you a salad. Z, what you want?” 

“Whatever’s fine, man, just like, hungry, yeah?” 

Niall nods and he’s off. Zayn sets his bag down before sitting beside Harry, pulling out a pencil and a sketch book. “You all right, bro?” 

“No.” Harry mumbles. “Everyone’s staring.” 

Zayn looks around and sees that yes, everyone does seem to be staring at Harry. “Yeah, well, everyone can fuck off, can’t they?” He says, raising his voice a bit. The boys at the table next to them quickly look away, dropping their gazes to each other and their food instead. 

“Awh, look at that.” Harry suddenly hears. “Malik protecting little Styles. This your boyfriend, then? You the one that knocked him up?” 

He looks for the source of the voice and his heart stops when he sees it’s coming from Tyler, who is currently sitting at a table, right next to Louis. Louis who hasn’t spoken to Harry in almost two days, hasn’t responded to his texts in just as many. Louis looks away when Harry tries to meet his eye. 

“Fuck off.” Zayn sneers. 

“Oh, right, right. Zayn’s fucking that one bird from St. Mary’s. She’s great tits, bro. Great.” 

Harry watches as Zayn clenches his jaw and tightens his hold on his pencil. 

“Watch your fucking mouth, bro.” Zayn spits back. Tyler cackles and Carter, another boy on the soccer team speaks up. 

“Maybe it’s Horan? You think he knocked him up? I can’t think of anyone else that would willingly fuck, Styles? Can you?” 

Harry feels his face burst into flames and he feels seconds from sobbing. 

“Don’t listen to them, Harry.” Zayn says to him, grabbing at his hand, trying to steady it. Harry hadn’t even realized it was shaking. 

“Nah, I really can’t. He seems like he’d be such a boring fuck. It’s surprising to me he even got laid.” 

“Honestly.” Carter laughs, high fiving Tyler. “Probably terrible in bed.” 

“Yeah, what do they say, rubbish?” 

“Harry, seriously, don’t listen.” Zayn says again. 

“Yeah, that’s it!” Tyler laughs. “God, I don’t think I’ll ever get over this. Somebody actually fucked Styles. Wow.” 

“Probably happened when they were drunk. That makes the most sense. Drunk people do make very, very poor decision.” Carter cackles, looking directly at Harry. And Harry can’t do it anymore. That rings too true. He feels the tears fall and he looks at their table, frantically trying to get Louis to look back at him. He won’t do it. 

Harry’s so disgusted. Of course he won’t meet Harry’s eyes, no, not in public. Not around this friends. This shouldn’t be surprising. This shouldn’t hurt. But, fuck. After Thanksgiving. After all the time he and Louis have been spending together, hanging out practically every night. It is. It does. 

Harry feels sick. He springs to his feet, grabbing his bag, and feeling from the room, the sound of their laughing ringing behind him. 

\--

Niall and Zayn find him a bit later, hiding in his room and sobbing into his pillow. Niall’s fist is red and bloody and Zayn tells him he punched Tyler in the face and earned himself a week detention after Christmas break. 

Harry nearly tackles Niall, he hugs him so hard and then the three of them decide to stick to Harry’s room and eat whatever he has in his mini fridge instead of venturing back down to the cafeteria. 

Harry’s phone dings a while later, a message from Louis flashing on his screen. He ignores it and turns off his phone. 

If Louis want to talk to Harry, wants to fucking apologize, he can come see him in person. 

\--

Louis finds him later, cornering him as he’s leaving his room to head to the showers. He grabs his arm and yanks him into the janitor’s closet, slamming the door behind them. 

“What the hell?” Harry whispers. Louis ignores him, hands smoothing over the walls. He ‘ah-ha’’s a moment later and light floods the room. 

Louis looks awful and guilty. Awful guilty. Harry can’t help the smug voice inside his head. Good. He fucking should be feeling like shit. 

Harry wasn’t expecting Louis to like, stand up or anything, wasn’t expecting him to tell them all to shut the fuck up, wasn’t expecting him to announce it’s his baby. But, he was at least expecting him to distract them, to get them to change the subject. He could’ve at least done that, turned the conversation away from Harry instead of just bloody sitting there as they ridiculed him. 

“What do you want?” Harry asks.

Louis frowns and he looks at his hands, wriggling them together. “You ignored my texts.” 

“Oh? Don’t like the taste of your own medicine, do you?” Harry shoots back. It’s pretty lame as far as comebacks go, but Harry’s never been the best at fighting. 

“Harry.” Louis’ frowns deepens. “I was trying to apologize.”

“As you should, but you can’t apologize for something like that over a fucking iMessage.” 

“I know, I know.” Louis amends. “That’s why I came to find you, why I dragged you in here. To apologize.” 

“Yeah, in here, in private.” Harry spits, waving his hands around. “In a goddamn janitor’s closet. You had to drag me into a janitor’s closet because you can’t bear to be seen with me or talking to me. Wow, imagine if you were caught apologizing to me!” 

“Harry-” If Louis frowns even harder he’s face is going to freeze like that. But, no, Harry doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t have it in his heart to give one shit anymore. He’s fucking over this. He’s exhausted and he’s furious. He can’t handle this anymore. He can’t deal with being Louis’ dirty little secret anymore. He won’t do this. 

“You know what Louis? You’re a coward. A fucking coward.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You fucking heard me.” Harry’s mad now and he won’t stop himself. He won’t hold back. He won’t fucking put up with this anymore and Louis needs to know. “You are a coward. You won’t talk to me out there, openly in the school because you’re scared. Of what? Of the opinions of some snot-nosed, egotistical, pieces of shit? You care so fucking much about what they think of you it’s fucking sad. It’s pathetic. You let them control. You literally won’t let yourself do what makes you happy because of them.”

“I-”

“You told me you didn’t want to be like your dad. Well, tell me how you are any different right now? How you are any better than him? Sure you are different in some aspects, sticking around, making sure I’m okay, going to appointments with me. But, ignoring me? Not looking me in the eye? Not having a conversation with me in the open? How are you any better than him? You’re making me feel like shit. Making me think that sure, you love this baby, your daughter, but only in secret? How would you like that? Would you like knowing that if you were her?” Harry takes a breath and runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots. 

Louis looks seconds from tears, but Harry doesn’t care. He’s seconds from tears, too. 

“That one of her dads is so ashamed of her other dad that he literally looks away and let’s his “friends” make fun of him right under his nose? Right now you sound right on par with that ‘dildo of a sperm donor’. So, I’m done. I won’t keep doing this. I want you in her life, Louis, but I can’t be treated this way. I can’t. I won’t go on like this. I’m a fucking person, too. I don’t deserve to be treated like this.” 

Harry turns and reaches for the door handle. “Let me know when you feel like being a man. Have a good holiday, birthday, too.” 

And with that, Harry leaves. 

\--

He doesn’t see Louis before he leaves for home and he doesn’t hear from him the next day, the day after that, or even the day after that. 

He tries not to let it bother him, tries to focus on being home and the Christmas spirit all around him. 

It’s good being at home. It’s really good seeing his mum. She holds Harry tight, coons him with her love and he never wants to leave, never wants to be anywhere but wrapped up in her arms. 

It’s good to see Gemma, too, and Robin, and his friends from home. 

Everything’s good, really good, but still. He can’t help but be a little bothered by it, a little saddened he hasn’t heard from Louis, which is why he can’t stop himself from texting Louis when Christmas Eve comes around, sending him a quick ‘Happy birthday, Lou, hope all is well. xx’. Louis responds with a ‘thanks’ and a kiss and Harry can’t help the disappoint he feels blooming in his chest. 

The disappointment lessen the next morning. Harry loves Christmas so he’s automatically in a happy mood. Opening his presents lifts his spirits even more. Both his mum and Robin gave the cutest little outfits for baby and Gemma got her an adorable little stuffed elephant. Clearly, she’s rooting for the jungle themed nursery. Harry isn’t sure, even though she’s a girl, he’s still pretty set on a nautical theme.

He can’t stop himself from picking up his phone to text Louis a picture of the his favorite outfit, a little pink onesie with a cupcake on the belly. His heart skips a beat when he catches sight of his screen and sees a text from Louis already there. 

It’s simple, just a plain ‘Happy Christmas ! xx’. It shouldn’t, probably doesn’t mean much, but Harry can’t help but think it’s a start. 

\--

New Year's Eve is spent with him mum and Robin instead of out partying like Gemma. He’s fine with it, never had the opportunity to really go out on this holiday anyway. He has friends back here at home, but he doesn’t spend enough time with them to trust himself getting drunk around them. He doesn’t know if they would watch out for him. So, he’s fine with having a calm evening at home. More than. 

Harry wakes up early, around 7, the next morning and is surprised to see 2 messages from Louis. The first one is weird, a message in parentheses stating for Harry to ‘please note the time thank u’. He does as Louis’ told and sliding the message over. It says it’s 5:59 AM which means for Louis it was 11:59. 

He feels a smile come across his lips as he reads the next message sent exactly at 12:00 Louis’ time.

New year , new me ! xxxxxxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!! 

Harry can’t help the way his heart beats as he thumbs out a response. You’re a bloody dork!  
He hopes it’s what he thinks. 

Nah , Styles ! not a dork , a man ! a manly man ! the manliest man the world ever did see !

Harry’s never cried tears of happiness over a text, but, well, there’s a first time for everything. 

\--

Louis picks Harry up from the airport. He usually catches a ride from Niall, the both of them planning their flights together so they end up back in Connecticut at the same time, but Louis demanded that Harry let him pick him up. And well, Harry couldn’t say no. 

After Louis’ declaration and branding of himself as a ‘man’, he called Harry and they had a nice, long, slightly tipsy (on Louis’ end) chat. Harry apologized immediately for what he said about Louis being like his dad. Louis cut him off halfway, though, told him while that was harsh and hurt (and made him cry like a absolute baby), it was exactly what he needed to hear. The way he was acting towards Harry was inexcusable and so far from okay. He apologized to Harry for what felt like hours and promised to start acting better, even starting with picking Harry up from the airport. He promised he wasn’t ashamed of Harry, or their baby. He was ready to accept the “consequences” of his actions and be the man his dad never could be. Harry may or may not have cried at that. He’s just hormonal, okay!?

“Jesus, H, you’re huge!” Louis smiles. Harry huffs, dropping his carry on as he comes to a halt in front of Louis. He’s exhausted. His flight was shit and somewhere around hour 3 baby discovered her legs and came to the conclusion that she must kick them at all times. 

“Not what I want to hear.” Harry frowns, running a hand over his belly. He’s five months now and he honestly can’t believe it. “Tempus fugit.” He mumbles. 

“What?” Louis asks with a laugh. He picks up Harry’s bag before grabbing his elbow to steer him towards baggage claim. 

“What language do you take?” 

“French, like my name. Duh.” 

“It’s Latin. Time flies. I’m bloody huge.” Harry explains. 

“You know you are only going to get bigger?” Louis asks. 

“Really not what I want to hear.” Harry loves his baby, he really does. But, the stretch marks forming on his thighs are not cute. He also really happens to like the size of his ankles. He’s not looking forward to their swelling. Damn babies and their side effects. 

“You look beautiful, H. Really. You’ll never stop looking beautiful.” 

Louis’ voice is so sincere, Harry can’t help but blush. “Thanks, Louis.” 

“Of course.” Louis winks. His arm slides around Harry’s waist, pulling him closer to him and Harry’s heart rate accelerates. He doesn’t understand what they are or what they are doing. Louis had been flirty during their last couple phone calls and now here he is?! Treating Harry so kindly? Calling him beautiful? 

Maybe Harry’s reading into it, maybe he’s just tired. 

But, maybe he’s not. Maybe it is something, or could be something.

Either way, it still makes Harry blush like a 12 year old. 

\--

Louis tells his friends that he’s the father of Harry’s baby in the most unexpected way. 

It’s at lunch one day, Zayn, Niall, and Harry are sitting at their usual table when all the sudden Louis plops down next to Harry. 

“Um.” Harry eloquently stutters out, watching with wide eyes as Liam joins the table next. 

“You lost?” Zayn pipes up. Niall barely reacts, just leaning forward and stealing a chip from Louis’ plate. Louis lets him without putting up a fight. 

“No. I’m right where I want to be.” 

Zayn raises his eyebrows and look at Harry. Harry himself doesn’t know what’s going on, so he just shrugs back, cheeks starting to burn when he realizes people are starting to stare. He and Louis talked about this, them being more open with their friendship and their whatever they have going on, but he didn’t think it would happen this fast, only a week into second semester, or this, well, in this way. He thought maybe he and Louis would be seen in the library first and maybe then work up to the cafeteria. 

“All right, mate.” Zayn says. He turns to Liam then, nodding his head and asking his opinion on whatever him and Niall are bickering about. 

“So-” Louis starts. 

“OI! Tomlinson!? What gives?” Tyler asks, nodding his head at Harry. 

“Yeah, what is this? This some kind of charity work?” 

Harry watches as Zayn drops his fork and Niall tenses up. They don’t get a chance to speak up because Louis beats them to the punch. 

“Nah, just enjoying a meal with my mates, and you know, the father of my child.” 

Louis says it so loud the whole cafeteria seems to stop, conversations halting and even more heads turning. 

“What!?” Carter all but shouts. 

Louis stands up. “You heard me. It was me. I got Harry pregnant. I fucked him. He’s an excellent fuck by the way, not boring in the slightest.” 

Harry didn’t think it was possible to blush so hard. He’s embarrassed that Louis said that, uttered those words in public, but at the same time, he feels kind of smug. Hell yeah, he’s an excellent fuck. 

“You can’t be serious.” Tyler gasps.

“Oh, I’m dead.” Louis shrugs, walking closer to the two. His chest his puffed and if Harry’s honest? He looks really fucking hot right now. And, he’s defending Harry’s honor and shit. God, he could swoon. And pop a boner. 

Jesus, Harry might be getting proper hard over this. 

It’s totally the hormones. Totally. Because this a completely inappropriate time to get hard and Harry can control himself! He totally can! 

“Do you have a fucking problem with it, mate? I can’t imagine you would. Harry’s a great fucking person, he hasn’t done anything to you. In fact, I know he helped you last year, Carter, tutored you even though you were nothing but an asshole to him. He helped you pass Physics and you treat him like shit. You’re a fucking cock. You all are. Absolute, utter knobs. I don’t want to hear another insulting word out of your shit mouths. If I do, I’ll make your lives hell come spring time. Make you run suicides until your feet bleed. You got that?” 

Tyler nods slowly. “Yeah.” He finally murmurs. Carter nods, too, as well as the rest of the time. 

“Good.” Louis spits. “Back to your lunches, yeah? Mind your own fucking business.” 

Everyone seems to listen to him, turning back to their tables. Louis stalks back over, sliding back onto the bench besides Harry. 

“You all right? That okay? I didn’t say too much did I? Sorry about the fuck thing.” 

“I-” Harry stutters. He drops his hands to his lap and tries to act like he’s fiddling with his sweatshirt. Because, that’s what he is doing. He totally isn’t the slightest bit hard and totally isn’t trying to conceal it. Totally. Isn’t. 

“I think Haz liked it.” Niall pipes up with a laugh. 

“Totally loved you bragging at him.” Zayn snickers. “See look it, he’s blushing even more. He loves the limelight.” 

Niall cracks up even harder and it doesn’t take long for Liam and Zayn to join in. Harry rolls his eyes and can’t help but let out a few of his own laughs. Louis beams at that leaning forward to place a light peck on Harry’s lips. Harry gasps because that was certainly unexpected. He must looking questioning because Louis shakes his head, running his thumb along Harry’s bottom lip. 

“I don’t know.” Louis whispers. “I don’t know what it means, but we’ll talk about it later, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Harry whispers back. He’s nodding so fast his head hurts. 

When Louis pulls away, the boys are staring at them. Niall’s eyes are wide and Zayn’s eyebrows are raised again and Liam’s brows are furrowed. Louis doesn’t seem to take notice or chooses not to take notice, turning to face Zayn a bit more to ask him about their assignment for art class. He reaches under the table all the while, squeezing at Harry’s knee, which doesn’t seem to help at all. It doesn’t help with his swooning. Or his nonexistent slight boner. Or his confusion. Nope. Not one bit. 

Harry can’t help but hope later comes quickly. 

\--

“I don’t know.” Louis mumbles against Harry’s shoulder later that night. They are in the library, in their own study room, sitting side by side on the couch. Louis’ arm is wrapped around Harry, his hand playing with the hair at the base of his neck as Harry reads over his Biology text. 

“You’re just so cute. So pretty. Sometimes your lips are just so bloody pink, I can’t help but want to kiss them. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah.” Harry stutters out. It’s hard to wrap his mind around that. That Louis Tomlinson thinks he’s pretty. That Louis Tomlinson says his lips are pretty and pink and that he wants to kiss them. 

“I don’t know what it means. I just, I wanna kiss you all the time.” Louis whispers, leaning up more so his lip brush against Harry’s neck. 

“All the time?” Harry squeaks. Louis giggles and nips at his jaw. 

“All the time.” Louis confirms. “I think I like you. I think maybe that’s what it means.” 

“Yeah?” Harry squeaks again, the pitch even higher.

“Yeah.” Louis presses his lips against Harry’s pulse point and Harry’s knees feel weak. “What about you? You wanna kiss me, too? You like me back, popstar?” 

“What is this? Third grade?” Harry manages to get out. It’s breathy and basically almost a moan. 

“Do you like like me, Harry? I think I like like you.” Louis giggles, his breath is hot against Harry’s skin. He licks a stripe before pulling back an inch to blow out a stream of hot air. Harry’s toes curl in his shoes.

“So much.” He answers. “Fuck, so much.” 

Louis doesn’t say anything back, just pulls his head completely away from Harry’s neck, turns his head, and presses their lips together. 

Needless to say, Harry doesn’t get much studying done for the rest of the night. 

\--

It’s like a dam breaks after that. Harry doesn’t know what they are, they haven’t put a label on it (at least he doesn’t think so…he’s too scared to ask). But it really doesn’t matter to him. Sure it would be amazing to call Louis his boyfriend, but really it’s just amazing to Harry that Louis likes him. 

Him. Louis Tomlinson likes him. Likes him back. Likes little Harry Styles back.

It’s fucking mindboggling. Harry doesn’t fully understand it, but he’s so, so happy about it. 

They kiss all the time. Really, all the time. It’s like his lips barely even have time on their own (and he’s totally fine with it). He’s fine with always feeling Louis’ plush, soft cotton-candy colored lips against his. It’s heavenly and probably Harry’s favorite sensation in the entire world.  
In Niall’s opinion, they are the literal definition of ‘horny teenage boys’. As crude as it sounds, Harry can’t admit he’s wrong. They are horny teenage boys. Especially Harry. He can’t help it, it’s the hormones. Niall’s really tired of that excuse, but Harry’s doesn’t care. It’s not an excuse. It’s the truth. 

They haven’t done anything but kiss and make out in their beds. Harry can tell that Louis is getting annoyed, getting a little agitated with it not ever leading anywhere. And, well, Harry doesn’t blame him. He’s getting annoyed, too. 

But, the thing is, even though he’s basically fucking dying for a release every time Louis so much as looks at him, he’s scared. Absolutely bloody terrified. The last time Harry got physical, truly physical with Louis, he got pregnant. And it’s not like he could get pregnant again, he’s not worried about that, he guesses. He’s more worried about how inexperienced he is. He’s afraid Louis will be able to tell how shit he is without the guise of alcohol. 

Sure, Harry’s messed around before, he had his weird relationship thing with Jackson. But, that’s it. That’s the only thing he’s ever done. He only jerked off Jackson a handful of times, only blew him twice. He’s doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t want to fuck it up. He wants to be perfect for Louis, wants to be good for him, be a good little boy as fucked up as that sounds (he saw a Daddy kink porno the other day when Niall was browsing for something to make fun of and he can’t get it out of his head). 

He doesn’t want Louis to find out that he took his virginity and he’s worried that somehow, if they take it any step further, he’ll know. 

Niall thinks he’s a chickenshit and should just tell Louis everything and then suck his dick halfway to Mars. 

Harry thinks Niall’s a twat. 

\--

“Would you please stop that?” Liam begs from his bed. Harry thinks he hears Zayn snort, but he can’t be for certain. Louis’ lips are too captivating. 

“Louis!” Liam whines. “I’m serious. Stop, we need to work on this.” 

Louis sighs against Harry’s lips and pulls away. Harry frowns at the lost of contact. “You’re just bothered because it’s two dudes, right? That’s very homophobic of you, Liam.” 

Harry doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone so exacerbated in his life. 

“Yes, absolutely. I hate the gays. That’s why I’m so upset. I’m not upset because you need to be helping me with this project or anything. Nope. Not at all. It’s just because I’m homophobic as hell.” 

“Knew it.” Louis grins, sliding away from Harry, off the bed to go join Liam. Liam sighs again as he does so and he sounds so motherly, Niall shouts that he’s gonna piss his pants any second. Harry rolls his eyes and moves off Louis’ bed to join Niall on the futon. Zayn immediately jumps off Liam’s bed and seizes the free space, sliding under the covers to probably fall straight asleep. Lazy sod. 

“Whatcha watching, Ni?”

“Gilmore Girl, Haz. What else? Sookie is about to tell Lorelai the sex of her baby.” 

“Oh, how far along is she?” 

“Not sure. She’s pretty small still, not beach ball sized like you.” 

“Hey!” Harry pouts. 

“Oi!” Louis adds in. “He’s sixth months pregnant with our beautiful baby girl, not a beach ball, you wanker.” 

Niall just shrugs and reaches for another handful of Cheetos. “Could’ve fooled me.” 

Harry punches him in the arm. Niall barely reacts, too focused on the screen. “Awh! A boy! Hey, spoiler alert, they are gonna name it Davy! Fuckin’ precious.” 

“Niall, you’re a girl.” Zayn mumbles from under the mound of sheets. 

“How many times have you watched this show?” Liam asks.

“Suck my cock, Zayn. And I don’t know. A lot. It gets better every time. Hey, speaking of names, what are you going to name her? Niall? Great choice. Absolutely beautiful. She’ll be amazing.” 

“Shut up.” Louis laughs. “But, wow. Completely forgot about having to name her.” 

Wow, Harry did, too. Jesus fuck this is going to be difficult. Harry loves too many names for this. He needs to start making a list as soon as possible. 

“Same.” 

“Oh, you could name her Lorelai! Then call her Rory! That’s very Irish and anything Irish is basically after me. Which she really should be named after me, what me being the godfather and all.” 

“Oi!” Liam shouts. 

“Excuse me?!” Zayn shoots up. “That’s shit, mate. Clearly it’s me!” 

“No, it’s me!” 

“Okay, I do not want to listen to this argument right now.” Louis gets up and comes over to Harry, sticking his hand out to help him up. 

“Haz and I are leaving to go do some research, find the perfect name for our darling babe. When you are done duking to the death, come find us.” 

“But, Louis! Our project!” 

“Tut, tut Liam! You have a fight to win! Shut up and go, fight, win!” 

“You have any idea what you want to call her?” Harry asks as they walk down the hall. Louis shrugs and swings their clasped hands. 

“Probably too many ideas.” 

“Same.” Harry huff out a laugh. “This ought to be fun.” 

“Oh, so much. Dylan’s out right? We can pick out a name and then do some celebrating, yeah? Naked celebrating.” Louis taps Harry on the bum. Harry struggles to swallow for a moment before forcing out a smile. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Harry hates himself for hoping it takes him and Louis forever to settle on a name. 

\--

It takes three hours, much to Harry’s delight and Louis’ displeasure, but they finally settle on a name: Alexia Louise. 

Louis tried to fight Harry, claiming that it wasn’t fair to name her after only one of her fathers and that maybe they should call her Harriet Louise, but Harry shot that down real quick. Harriet is an awful name. Alexia is much better suited for their daughter. 

“It’s weird.” Louis says, running a hand across Harry’s belly. “It’s like, with a name she’s much more real, you know?” 

“Yeah, because the gigantic belly wasn’t proof enough.” Harry snarks. Louis growls at him and pinches his nipple. 

“Ouch. Hey, you know they are overly sensitive now, don’t.” 

“Oh, I know, love.” Louis’ voice is considerable lower and he’s looking at Harry like he wants to eat him. And fuck, Harry wants him to, but he also wants to run and hide in the bathroom. 

Louis rearranges on the bed, moving to shift between Harry’s thighs. His press his hands lightly on Harry’s hip, sliding them up slowly, taking his shirt with him. 

“Wanna make you feel good, H. Can I?” Louis asks. He doesn’t wait for Harry to respond, just leans down to kiss underneath the swell of Harry’s belly, right along the hem of his sweatpants. Harry feels his breath hitch and his lungs get tighter. 

“I’ll make it so good, H. So fucking good.” Louis drags his tongue across Harry’s skin and Harry can’t help the moan that escapes. 

“Yeah, let me hear you.” Louis mumbles, his lips tickling Harry’s skin. 

God, Harry wants this. But, he’s so nervous he feel like he could throw up. He’s about to grab at Louis, tell him to stop, but then Louis leans down and start nosing along the outline of Harry’s cock through his sweats and Harry stops thinking. He’s pretty sure his brain stops all together. 

In that moment, Harry just wants to say fuck it. Because seriously, fuck it. He wants this. He wants Louis to suck his dick. He wants to suck Louis’ dick. He wants to hear him moan. He wants to hear his voice go all breathy again. Fuck, he just wants Louis to make him come. His hand isn’t cutting it anymore. 

“What up, fuckers!?” 

“You’re kidding.” Louis groans against Harry’s leg. 

“Awh, did I interrupt something!” Niall laughs, leaping through the open door and running to jump onto Harry’s bed. 

Harry’s going to fucking end him. 

\--

Harry’s exhausted. His feet hurt, his back kills, Alexia’s been kicking non stop, and he just took the hardest test he’s ever taken in his entire life. Fuck Biology so much. He wants to cry and curl up in his bed with Louis and have him pet his hair until he feels better. But he can’t. Because he’s at bloody soccer practice. Fuck that. Sports are the worst. Honestly. 

Ugh, he can’t wait for spring break. Three more days. Harry can do this. He totally can. 

“Sup, Harry.” Dylan nods when he enters the room. “I got your mail for you, because I’m the best roommate.” 

“Thanks.” Harry laughs, dropping his bag and trudging over to his desk. It’s the usual stuff, until it isn’t. It’s a letter from his mum, from Gemma, his grandma, his dad, and then Yale. 

Yale.

There’s a letter from Yale. 

“Oh my god.” 

“Everything okay?” 

Harry ignores him, choosing to rip open the envelope instead. It goes poorly, one because Harry’s always been shit at opening letters, and two because his hands won’t stop shaking. 

Dear Mr. Harry Styles, 

Congratulations! You have been accepted into… 

Harry stops reading. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. He got in. He got in. He got into Yale. 

“Holy shit.” 

“Harry, are you okay?” 

Harry ignores him again, shaking his head. “I need, I need-” 

Harry takes off running. Or, kind of running. It’s sort of hard to run when you’re seven months pregnant. He more like shuffle jogs, but he shuffle jogs with a fucking passion. 

He’s at the pitch in no time. He has to stop on the sidelines to catch his breath, bending over slightly and scanning the field for Louis.

“Where the fuck are you?” Harry mutters to himself. He’s jittery and he wants to just scream for Louis, but he doesn’t want him to get in trouble with Coach. 

Harry notices Liam spotting him first. Liam jogs over to Louis and turns him, pointing at Harry. Harry starts jumping then, waving his arm to beckon Louis over. 

He comes over without hesitation. 

“Fuck, Haz? Are you okay? What’s wrong? Oh my god, are you in labor?! Wait, no, you look too smiley. Fuck, H, why do you look so smiley? It’s fucking maniac and kind of creepy.” 

“I got in!” Harry shouts. 

“In? In where? What are you talking about?” 

“Yale! Louis! I got in! I got into Yale!” 

“No!” Louis shouts. “Babe, shut up!” 

“I got in!” Harry screams. Louis screams right back, scooping him up in his arms. 

“Haz, I’m so proud! Fuck, I’m so proud! My boyfriend’s going to Yale!” He screams. 

“Boyfriend?” Harry gasps as Louis sets him and cups his hands around his neck. 

“Boyfriend.” Louis beams. 

“I’m going to Yale.” Harry giggles. 

“You’re going to Yale.” Louis whispers, knocking their noses together before kissing Harry so deep he can feel it all the way in his toes. 

Fuck. Harry’s so in love. 

And going to Yale!!

\--

It’s no surprise that Harry can’t afford to go home spring break either. He turns down Niall’s invite to go home to Ireland with him, instead choosing to stay with Louis instead. Louis was thrilled. His mum? Not so much. Louis was supposed to be going to the Bahamas with his family, but once he found out Harry couldn’t go home, he told his mum he didn’t want to go. So now, here they are. Alone. In Louis’ mansion. For a week. 

His mum thinks it’s not appropriate for their age to be alone for so long. But, Harry’s argument was that he’s already pregnant, what else could happen? His mum shut up and accepted it then.  
“I can’t believe you made me eat vegetables.” Louis flops down on the couch. 

“Oh shut up.” Harry laughs, easing his way onto the couch besides Louis. “You actually liked them.” 

“That is a bold-faced lie!” Louis gasps. “It was disgusting. I only ate them to please you.” 

“Sure, sure.” Harry laughs, snuggling closer to Louis. “What do you want to do? Watch a movie?” 

“Eh. We did that earlier. Oh, I know. Let’s play 20 questions.” 

“What?”

“20 questions. You take turns asking each other questions until you reach 20.” 

“I know how to play the game, Lou. Just, like, why? That’s pretty like, kid-ish?”

“Hey!” Louis huffs, poking at Harry’s side. “It’s not kid-ish. It’s fun. Me and Daisy played it on the phone last week and I want to play it again, please, Harry. Please. We can make it fun. We can make it dirty.” 

“Louis.” Harry blushes. 

Louis grins and pinches at his cheek. “We’ll start off slow first love. I’ll go first. How old were you when you had your first kiss?” 

It escalates and becomes dirty pretty quick from there. Harry isn’t surprised at all. He’s lying between Louis’ leg, when Louis noses at his hair and asks, “How many people have you had sex with?” 

Harry feels himself blush even more than he was already (Louis asked him about the kinks he’s into when he stuttered out ‘daddy’, Louis said they’ll have to try it sometime, you cannot blame Harry for fucking burning at that). 

“Isn’t that a little personal?” 

“Well, I mean, yeah. But, I’m your boyfriend. We should talk about things like this.” 

He has a point, Harry supposes. God, this is it. He just needs to do it already, just tell Louis. If he ever wants to get over his fear again and have sex with Louis, he needs to tell him. 

“One.” 

“Like, besides me? That Jackson dude you mentioned earlier?” 

“No, like.” Harry clears his throat. “Just one. Just you. Me and Jackson uh, never got around to it.” 

“Wait.” He feels Louis shift behind him so he sits up to face him. “That was… that was your first time?” 

Harry nods. 

“Your first time-we, fuck. We were drunk. I got you pregnant! That was your first time!?” 

“Yeah.” Harry whispers. 

“Oh my god, Harry, I’m so-”

“Don’t apologize. Louis, I don’t regret it. Yeah, it wasn’t how I thought it was happen, but I mean, that’s okay. Not everything goes to plan.” 

Louis still doesn’t look settled, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. Fuck. He’s mad. Harry fucked up. He should’ve lied. 

“So… all the times where you like, stopped us? What? Did you not want to with me again? Did you not like enj-”

“No.” Harry cuts him off. He grabs for Louis’ hands and tangles their fingers together. He can’t have him pull out his hair. It’s too pretty. “I just. I was scared you’d be able to tell how… inexperienced I was if we, you know, did it again without being drunk.” 

“Harry.” And wow. Harry doesn’t have a word for how Louis just said his name. Reverent, maybe. Loving is possibly a stretch, but it doesn’t feel like that big of one. 

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers. “I get if you are mad-”

“Mad?!” Louis says, his voice laced with disbelief. He shuffles forward to settle his palms against Harry’s cheeks. “Love, I’m not mad. Really, I promise.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. I mean, don’t you recall? I like being firsts.” Louis smiles, softly and warmly, like his lips are trying to reassure Harry. It’s working. “I just, fuck if I would’ve known, I would’ve, I don’t know.”

“Taken me to a bed? Bought some champagne, roses?” Harry may be joking, but he also may not be. He would’ve absolutely fucking died if Louis did that. In the good way, of course. 

Louis’ lips quirk up even higher. “Insisted on moving to the back seat.” 

Harry shrugs. “I liked the front. Liked…” He trails off, biting at his lip. 

“Being on top?” Louis smiles. “Liked riding me, did you?” 

Harry doesn’t respond because he’s sure his tomato face says it all. 

Louis laughs at that, poking at Harry’s dimple before leaning forward and kissing him quick. “Styles, you really are a minx. 

“Shut up.” Harry whines. 

“Hey.” Louis whispers, leaning close to Harry again and resting their foreheads together.

“Hm?” 

“I’m not mad. At all. Okay? At all.” 

“Okay.” Harry nods, the forcing making Louis’ head move as well.

“If anything I was like, irrationally jealous those few seconds when I thought Jackson was your first.” 

“Seriously?” Harry giggles. 

“Seriously, popstar.” Louis murmurs. They stay there for a minute, just staring into each other’s eyes. Harry can taste the words. They are on the tip of his tongue. He thinks if he breathed too hard they would stumble right out. 

He swallows as hard as he can, hoping the words fall down to his stomach. He can’t take just looking at Louis anymore. “Kiss me.” 

Louis doesn’t have to be told twice, pulling Harry closer and pressing their lips together. It’s perfect and so, so, so sweet. Harry never wants it to end. 

Louis pulls away, though, way too soon for Harry’s liking. 

“Can we uh, can we kiss in my bed?” 

It’s a loaded question. A very loaded question. Harry knows where this is going. He feels himself start to nod. 

“Yeah, yeah. I-yeah.” 

“It’s okay.” Louis whispers, kissing him again. “I’ll take care of you.” 

\--

“I’ll be gentle.” Louis promises, sealing it with a kiss to Harry’s jaw. “Treat this like your first time, yeah? Make up for it.” 

Louis kisses him softly as he kicks his bedroom door closed, hands resting firmly on his hips. 

“You don’t have to make up for it. I don’t regret it.” Harry says when Louis pulls back, guiding them over to the bed. He pushes Harry to sit on the bed and kneels in front of him. 

“And I’m glad.” Louis nods, hands tugging at the bottom of Harry’s shirt. Harry gets the hint, lifting his arms to let Louis pull the shirt over his head. Louis travels his hand down Harry’s chest, rubbing across the swell of his belly before curling his fingers around the waistband of Harry’s sweats. “But, still. I want to be gentle. Take you apart nice and slow.” 

“Okay.” Harry replies, keeping his voice quiet. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to, they have the whole mansion to themselves, but it just feels right.

He lets Louis pull off the trousers, watching as he balls them up and tosses them across the room. 

“You’re beautiful.” Louis thumbs at the elastic band of Harry’s pants as he speaks. Harry lifts his hips silently, letting Louis remove them. 

“I love looking at you.” Louis kisses at his belly. “You’re downright delicious.” 

Harry giggles at the sensation, the scruff from Louis’ beard making his skin tickle. “You’re delicious.” 

Louis laughs and stands. “Not as delicious as you. Lay back.” 

Harry does as he’s told, nodding at Louis as he scooches back. “You have to get naked, too. This isn’t fair.” 

“Oi, it’s plenty fair. You’re prettier to look at and you know it.” 

Harry just scoffs and shakes his head. No way. Louis is a thousand times prettier. He doesn’t voice his thoughts, though, just rolls his eyes and then watches closely as Louis peels off his own clothes. Harry wants to sigh when Louis’ naked chest is finally on display. It’s just, it’s so- Harry doesn’t understand how someone’s skin can be so smooth, so soft looking, so tan. Honestly, how is Louis tan? It’s the middle of March in Connecticut. He shouldn’t be tan. He should be pale as hell, like Harry. He shouldn’t look like he just got back from a island holiday. 

He looks like caramel. 

Harry wants to eat him. 

“Um, my face is up here.” Louis scolds, popping his hip and crossing his arms. Harry roll his eyes again. 

“Just take off your pants.” 

“Oh, Mr. Styles. You do know how to treat a lady.” 

“Shut up.” Harry whines. 

Louis laughs way too long at his stupid, unfunny joke before he finally takes off his own sweats and pants and joins Harry on the bed. 

He knee walks slowly up Harry’s legs, stopping at his hips and dropping his weight on his hands by Harry’s shoulders. 

“Hi.” He smiles. He’s so close their noses are touching. So close Harry can count his eyelashes, see the slight laugh lines by his eyes. 

“Hi.” Harry smiles back. He gets brave after that, surging up and kissing Louis. 

He feels Louis’ hand move above his head and it’s tapping at his hips. Harry lifts them without question, startling only slightly when Louis shoves the pillow underneath him. 

“Cause, you know.” Louis breathes as he pulls away and sits up. “We can’t, hands and knees. So, got to make you as comfortable as possible.” 

Harry nods because he doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth. The words are there again and he can’t. They need to stay put. 

Louis reaches for something in his bedside table and Harry tries to calm himself when he realizes what. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He’s done this before. They’ve done this before. Why does he feel like his whole body is shaking? 

Louis drops the condom by Harry’s hips and moves down, placing himself between Harry’s legs before popping open the bottle of lube.

“All right, you-hey are you okay?” Louis’ face is suddenly over his again and Harry jumps, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Hey, no, what? None of that, baby.” 

Oh, god. Louis just called him baby. Harry feels like dying. 

“What’s wrong? Do you not want this? Do you want to stop?” 

“No, no.” Harry shakes his head. “That’s far from what I want. Like, so far.” 

“I’m confused then, love. Why are you so tense? Open your eyes, H, please.” 

And yeah, Harry is pretty tense is he. He shrugs, debating to himself whether or not he should lie, before thinking, eh, fuck it. 

He opens his eyes to Louis’ beautiful blue ones staring back. He rubs his thumb across Harry’s jaw. “What’s wrong?” 

“I’m just… I’m not scared. I just… I want it to be good. I’m scared it’s not going to be good. I’m not going to be good.” 

“Oh, babe.” Louis coos. “No, no. Stop thinking that. Don’t think that. You are good. It’s going to be good, perfect, even, because I-” Louis cuts himself off, breaking their eye contact.

“Louis?” Harry can feel his heart rate picking up. Did Louis just? Did he almost just say what Harry thinks he almost just said? 

 

“What? You are. You’re perfect and nothing with you could ever be anything less than. It’s going to be good, H. Really, really good. I promise, okay?” 

“No.” Harry shakes his head. “You said ‘because I’. ‘Because I’ what Louis? What were you going to say?” 

“Because I think you are perfect and nothing with you could ever be anything less than. What I just said, Harry.” 

“Don’t lie to me, Louis. Don’t. What were you going to say? Tell me.” 

Louis lets out this huge breath and chews on his lip before looking back up at Harry. “Because I love you. I love you and numbers and times don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you are ‘good’. It’ll be amazing and fantastic and everything because it’s with you and I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

Harry’s heart it racing so fast he swears it’s seconds from flying out of his chest. His lungs feel tight and his eyes wet. Louis loves him. Louis Tomlinson loves him, is in love with him. Harry’s going to fucking cry. 

He doesn’t, or at least he doesn’t think he does, instead grabs at the back of Louis’ hair, tugging him in and kissing him with everything he has. Louis kisses back just as passionately, if not more. Harry’s never been kissed with so much feeling in his entire life. He feels so happy, like his heart could burst and spill an explosion of rainbows and butterflies between them. 

“I love you, too.” He gasps as they pull back for air. “So much, Louis. I love you so much.” 

Louis grins at Harry and his eyes look wet, too, and Harry just can’t believe any of this is real. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Harry beams. 

“Wanna do this then? Wanna, excuse the pun, make love now?” Louis laughs at his joke and Harry punches his shoulder. 

“Shut up. I do. I do wanna make love.” He kisses Louis again, curling his fingers in his soft hair. 

“You’re so cheesy, popstar.” 

“But, you love me.” Harry grins.

“But, I love you.” Louis affirms with a kiss to the cheek. 

“Make love to me, Louis.” 

“As long as you promise to make love to me back, Harry.” 

“Always.” 

Louis kisses him again, whispering against his lips that he can’t believe Harry’s real and Harry whispers back that he feels the same. He can’t believe any of this is real. He almost pinches himself. Twice. 

Louis opens Harry up slowly, taking his time and being as gentle as he promised. It’s pure torture, but Harry loves every minute. Louis fingers feel so good and he works them so bloody deep, Harry swears they’re magic. 

When Louis finally pushes in, Harry sees stars. He forgot how good this felt. Sure, there is the initial pain, but it quickly melts away. Harry feels Louis all the way up to his eyes and down to his toes. His cock is warm and thick and big inside him. It fills Harry up so well. Harry’s addicted to the feeling, to the slow, hot drag. He feels intoxicated, drunk off Louis and his dick, the perfect way he thrusts in and how he manages to hit Harry’s prostate so dead on. It’s so good, so perfect, Harry can’t handle. He only lasts a few minutes before he’s seizing up and coming, the feeling of Louis deep inside and the bite of his teeth at his neck too much for his body, and brain, to handle. 

Louis hardly lasts much longer. He comes deep inside Harry and Harry can’t look away from his face as he does. Even Louis’ come face is beautiful, eyes are screwed shut, teeth biting at his lip. He makes the most beautiful noise, a breathy but somehow gruff moan? Harry doesn’t know if that’s an accurate description. All he knows is that it’s his new favorite sound and he wishes he would’ve recorded it so he could fall asleep to it every night. 

“I swear.” Louis pants as he pulls away, gingerly sliding the condom off and knotting it. “I usually last longer. I promise.” 

Harry giggles as best as he can as he tries to catch his breath. “I know. We’ve done this before.” 

“Indeed we have.” Louis grins, tossing the condom in the direction of his waste bin. He flops down besides Harry, yanking the pillow out from underneath him and manhandling him until he’s his little spoon. 

“I love you.” 

Harry hides his grin in his arm as he snuggles back against Louis. “I love you.” 

Harry falls asleep that night with a sticky chest and a mess of lube between his thighs but he doesn’t care. There’s a boy spooning him from behind, his hand resting on Harry’s belly, their precious little girl and that boy loves Harry. He love Harry and Harry loves him. They’re in love and Harry couldn’t be happier.

\--

It’s April and Harry literally only has a month of school left. 

And a month before his baby is due. 

It’s crazy. Time really does fly. He swears it was basically yesterday when he was throwing up in the toilet for the first time and now? Now he’s eight months along and Louis’ his boyfriend and they are in love. 

It’s truly crazy. Harry can barely believe it, but it’s real. It’s all so fucking real. 

\--

Harry doesn’t get valedictorian. Much to his distress, he finishes second. He cries about it, of course he does, but he gets over it with the help of Louis and his wonderful mouth. Louis convinces him second isn’t bad (because it isn’t, it’s amazing) and Yale already accepted him, it’s not like they are going to take away his spot because he didn’t finish first. (Yes, Harry did actually check to make sure they couldn’t do that.). 

So, it’s fine. It’s totally fine. He’s second in his whole grade and salutatorian. He doesn’t get to give a speech at graduation, but he does get to give one in front of their whole school during ‘Senior Awards Day’. Which, well, isn’t the best, but at least it’s something. Harry’s happy. Or, well, he’s content with himself. He guesses. 

School isn’t the most important thing in his world anymore. Alexia is, Louis, too. So, really. It’s fine. More than. 

\--

In hindsight, Harry guesses it’s probably a blessing he didn’t get valedictorian. 

The morning of their graduation, Harry wakes up feeling weird, maybe off in a way. 

He brushes it off, rolling out of bed (literally rolling, Niall’s comparison is ringing too true, he basically is a beach ball), and heading downstairs. 

His smiles at his mum and Jay already at the table, sipping tea and gossiping. The usual mum stuff. 

Really, he couldn’t thank Jay enough. She’s let Harry stay with Louis until graduation and even let his mum, Gemma, and Robin stay in guest rooms for the ceremony. She’s way too sweet. 

“You okay, darling?” His mum asks as he pours himself a cup and slumps down beside her. 

“I feel funny.” He shrugs. He can’t really describe it any better. It’s just that. Weird. Funny. Off. Odd. 

He doesn’t get the chance to discuss it any further because Louis and Daisy enter the room and Daisy demands that Harry braid her hair. 

\--

He only feels weirder as the day goes on, Louis and Harry taking turns showering and dressing for the ceremony. Harry cries at Louis and his mum because he looks like a giant blueberry in his robes and he doesn’t feel any better when Louis tells him at least he’s a cute blueberry. 

The ceremony is awful. Well, no, it’s actually quite nice and very classy, but it’s fucking long. Harry has to stand for such a long time and paint this fake smile on his face when his feet and back kill and something is wrong with him but he doesn’t what. 

It’s frustrating and Harry wants to cry and scream, but he can’t because he’s number two in the class and right up front, in front of all the snotty, filthy rich parents. 

It’s when they are taking pictures after the ceremony when he finally realizes what’s wrong. 

He’s holding Daisy while Louis holds Phoebe and he’s cheesing hard at the camera when he feels his water break. 

It’s a weird sensation, for a second Harry thinks Daisy peed herself and it got on him or that he peed himself, but. He didn’t. She didn’t.

“Oh my god.” 

“What?” Louis asks, shifting Phoebe higher on his hip. 

“My water just broke.” 

“Oh my god!” Louis shouts. “Mum! Mum! Put down the bloody camera! Harry’s water just broke” 

Holy fuck. Harry’s in labor. He’s having a fucking baby!

\--

Having a baby is not a walk in the park, but Harry figures he has it pretty easy, seeing as he can’t have her the natural way. Don’t get him wrong, the cesarean isn’t fun or like, easy, or anything, but well, it is definitely easier than pushing a baby out a hole that is way too small. He’s very happy he didn’t have to do that, just had her yanked out of him instead. 

She’s beautiful. Despite her being two weeks early, she’s perfectly healthy weighing in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces. She’s 20.4 inches long, has beautiful blues eyes that rival her Daddy’s, and every finger and every toe (Harry knows, he counted 3 times). She has a freckle underneath her right eye, a mole on the bottom of her left foot, and a full head of hair. It’s so cute. She’s so cute. Harry never wants to stop looking at her. 

She’s so tiny, so perfect, he never wants to put her down. He’s in love. She’s already got him wrapped around her finger. Louis, too. 

God. It hurts Harry’s chest watching him hold her. He cuddles her close, holding her like she’s a treasure. Which, well, she is. He can already see how much Louis loves her and it makes him love Louis even more. He wants to marry him. 

He knows it won’t be easy, raising a baby and going to school that is. It’s going to be difficult at times, probably sometimes awful, but Harry thinks if anyone can do it, he and Louis can. 

They have their mums and their sisters and their step-dads, but most importantly they have each other. Harry can’t think of anyone else he would rather be doing this with than Louis. 

“You ready to do this, love?” Louis asks, stroking a finger down Alexia’s teeny, tiny gumdrop nose. 

Harry beams, reaching his own finger out to rub at her velvety cheeks. 

“Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! my tumblr is under the same name, feel free to stop on by!
> 
> I added an epilogue bc everyone asked for one! i hope you enjoy!


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